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Need advice?

Long story short, my DD's father and I had split up a while ago, but remained friends. Yesterday him and I got into an argument about some things and I told him that the only time I want to talk to him, is when it concerns our DD. I went to bed last night at 2 am, and about a half hour later, he stopped by my house, and came into my bedroom, drunk, and laid down on the bedroom floor. When I asked him why he was there, he freaked out, and I told him to quiet down and leave because the baby was sleeping. He continued to try to argue with me and I told him to leave again, and then he hit me. Well obviously I called the cops and everything. My question isn't anything regarding him and I. My question is about my DD who is a toddler. I obviously have to file custody paperwork, but I don't know what to do about how to deal with visitation rights? cont.


Asked by Anonymous at 9:53 PM on Aug. 22, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • With a history of drinking, mental illness and abuse you should have no problem getting the courts to sign off on Supervised visitations. The courts may add an addendum to it such as he attends AA meetings or counseling

    Answer by KristiS11384 at 10:26 PM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • OP here- He’s my DD’s father, and I don’t know how to handle this. I don’t want anything to do with him, and I don’t want DD around him by herself. But do I really have the right to deny him from all visitation rights? Not just legally. I mean more what’s really right and wrong? I’ve never dealt with this before. I never got hit before by him, so I’m sort of at a loss. I can’t concentrate on anything lately because this issue is on my mind, and I can’t even file any of the proper court paperwork until Monday because it’s the weekend. I can’t even meditate to try to find an answer because I’m so stressed out and at a loss. Not only do I worry about all the legalities, I also worry about his mentality. cont.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:54 PM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • OP Here- Before DD was born, he tried to commit suicide. I’m just at such a loss right now. I really hope this makes sense, because trying to explain some of my emotions right now is really difficult. Please no bashing. I really need some advice. I’ve posted this in both relationships and religion and beliefs because obviously it fits into relationships, but I need help spiritually moving past this as well. (end)

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:55 PM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • Were you ever married? Is he on the birth certificate? Does he pay child support?

    Find out the Child custody laws for your State

    Check laws in your state regarding termination of parental rights

    Get a lawyer.


    Answer by KristiS11384 at 9:59 PM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • As evident from my sources, mental illness and abuse are grounds for having his rights terminated. HE will have to fight the courts to be able to see her.

    Answer by KristiS11384 at 10:00 PM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • If you let me know the state you live in I can find the appropriate laws regarding having his rights terminated.

    Answer by KristiS11384 at 10:02 PM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • If you have any medical information such as a doctor or counselor he saw after trying to commit suicide you will want to have that information handy as well

    Answer by KristiS11384 at 10:03 PM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • kristi, I pmed you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:13 PM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • I agree with everyone above. And I've been through it. Do I have the right? I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR HIS ACTIONS ANY MORE! Read that again. You sound like you are suffering guilt. His mentality is his problem, as well. The only thing that should concern you at all is your DD and her safety. 'Probably' is not good enough. Get all your info together, then file for sole legal custody. You will never need his signature or permission or anything from him again. And he can't take DD from you. (Thats assuming the fathers name is on the birth certificate).

    Answer by mamasangel11 at 10:15 PM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • The first thing is to hire an attorney so you can find out what the law says and what your rights are.

    Maybe you need to get a restraining order as well...Your lawyer can help with this too.

    Just be careful about where you go, what you do...he may try to find ANY reason he can to call you a "bad mother."
    Get all your info together and be prepared to fight for custody if you have to.

    Be careful...Good Luck

    Answer by lighthousemom3 at 10:26 PM on Aug. 22, 2009