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am i overly emotional about this?? i need to know lol

i know im 40 pounds heavier than when i should be. but with 2 kids under 2, i dont have the time to work out. if im lucky, ill get 30 mins o the elliptical.
well, the most i ask of my husband when it comes to my wieght, is watch the kids for me for ATLEAST 45 mins so i can get a good workout.
well, he said its not his fault im fat, and i couldve of prevented it, and its my fault, and he cant have faith in me for losing it, cause he thinks i dont have the will power to loose it. he said i dont have the motivation, and he cant stand behind me on something he doesnt think i can do. and i am extremly hurt, cause i feel like my own husband has no faith what i do, or has my back on anything. i get how he can have his own opionion, but to put me down like that? it was hurtful, and he really feels like he doesnt have to support me on i overly emotional about it, or is he right?? i thought you should have each others back


Asked by Anonymous at 11:29 PM on Aug. 22, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • No you are NOT being too sensitive. The way your DH is saying his opinion is very hateful and disrespectful. He should support you no matter what. I would tell him how he's hurting you and ask that he support you in your weight loss challenge. And in the meantime when you are unable to get away, make sure you eat right, drink TONS of water and walk anywhere and everywhere you can. Even though you're on the elliptical for 30min a day, that is way better than nothing. Try to sneak in some twists or lunges while waiting for whatever is in the microwave or when filling up your kids baths. DO NOT eat at least 3hrs before you go to bed. And try to stay positive. I read a study once that women who remained positive and motivated about losing weight were more likely to shed those pounds. And if he's still being hateful, use that to your advantage! Prove him wrong! Stay strong with your workouts and show him YOU CAN DO IT!!

    Answer by joannakitler at 11:38 PM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • plz keep in mind, i dont bitch about my wieght alot. the most i ever ask of him with it, is atleast beleive in me, and watch the kids. thats it. i know the beleive in me part sounds kinda sappy, but what the heck. it would feel nice to know he doesnt think im a failure. and i know im the brightest crayon in the box. =/

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:31 PM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • i know im NOT the brightest crayon. lol

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:32 PM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • yano why i think he said that? i think one because he wants to say that to you so maybe you will try and really prove him wrong, and two because he just doesnt feel like watching your kids and needs an excuse. or maybe thats how he really feels. either way, you definatly have to work out to loose weight, but are you on a diet? because maybe if he sees you eating on a diet, he will believe you more and that will help you loose weight to obviously. also, my gym has a daycare, and the daycare is free, so maybe you should see if any gyms around you have that. GL =)

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 11:34 PM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • oh and ps. dont feel bad, its not your fault. i gained 60 pounds while i was pregnant!! and still have 30 to loose.

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 11:35 PM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • men can sometimes be so insensitive to womens issues. Look, i dont think he is being supportive of you at all. You have a right to be mad about that. I think your going to have to insist on some time or try to squeeze something in during your day. Could you do some excercises in between tasks? I am slightly overweight now, but was about 15 lbs more a couple of months ago. It is so hard when your busy, and you dont get a lot of time. I found that I broke up a lot of my workout into small chunks and its better than nothing. Im trying Somersize by susan somers which is a way of eating and its helping me. not for everyone though. Maybe you can find some support on cafemom that your not getting from your DH. best wishes!

    Answer by giftmom at 11:38 PM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • uuuggghh post baby weight... 40 lbs here...well he mightve said it in an a**whole kind of way... which most men do when they are are not bieng considerate...but he mightve meant that you need the confidence and he just wants to see it... hell even annoy him and talk diets and about the no Whites rule(Try to stay away from white breads,noodles, whole milk,) ...and hell get the picture....stick to it and you may even make a positive impact on both of you(:

    Answer by AmandaPina703 at 11:47 PM on Aug. 22, 2009

  • why can't you find the motivation? all of it has to come from your husband?
    When I was fat, I saw some pictures of me and decided to eat better and exercise, that was enough motivation for me. Maybe when you lose some weight, your husband will think twice about being mean.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:50 AM on Aug. 23, 2009

  • he's sabotaging you losing weight and meeting your personal goals. This way he can keep you under his thumb and control you and keep your self esteem low. It's personal manipulation. Don't listen to his crap and work out when the kids are asleep taking naps or having playtime or in school.

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:24 AM on Aug. 23, 2009

  • It does sound like he is sabatoging your weight loss goals.. Don't let him! I have a 5 mo. old. I gained 28 lbs with him and have lost 48 lbs ( started out normal weight). I also lost my baby weight from my first son within the first 3 months. YOu have to make a lifestyle change. Aside from wanting to use an Elliptical ( which I think becomes bogus after a while).. WALK! Take your kids for walks, play outside and in, cut out soda and sugar, etc. I could go on... (I'm a personal trainer) but I'm sure I will run out of room!

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:28 AM on Aug. 23, 2009