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Should I just move on? (strained father daughter)

My father (if you want to call him that) has been in and out of my life, he left me to his mom and dad to be raised so that it who I truly considere to be more parents to me. A lot of hurtful things have happend in my life and I forgave my father for them and moved on trying to be the better person

Back in may we went to go see my dad and he spent the whole time in his room watching t.v., it made me mad and we had a ahuge falling out and haven't talked. Last tuesday I sent him a text maessage (trying to be the better person) and told him happy birthday and that he was going to be a grandpa again. I still have yet to hear from him. He acts like a child and I am just sick and tired of it and feel like my kids are better off not knowing him rather than he pop in and out of their life like he did with me. Should I keep making the effort or write it off as a lost cause because I know he will NEVER change.

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Asked by JAJA_Steele at 3:15 AM on Aug. 23, 2009 in Relationships

Level 13 (1,078 Credits)
Answers (3)
  • btw he did get the text, my aunt confirmed that

    Answer by JAJA_Steele at 3:16 AM on Aug. 23, 2009

  • Cut him off if he wanted to be in your children's life he would be in there life FULL TIME. Anyone can be daddy it takes a really man to be a father. He can always be your daddy but he is not a father to you and not a grandfather to your children. He sound not like a healthy person to be in your life nor your children life. You and your children are better off without him. Sorry that this happen to you. Just remember you have a wonderful family of your own today and your a great parent and so isn't your hubby. God Bless you and your family.


    Answer by raemommy at 4:12 AM on Aug. 23, 2009

  • Leave the door open but don't hold out too much hope. In other words, tell him when he wants to visit he is more than welcome. Send him cards on his birthday with a quick update on how your family is doing. If he wants to take it as an opportunity to participate that is up to him. Having your heart broken by him again and again is not very fun. At some point it stops being him and it is you who keeps beating the dead horse. Don't do that to yourself. You can be kind by sending quick cards and updates with a line (without pressure or nagging) that says he's always welcome. Send invites to parties but do not expect him to come, if he does then smile and accept what he is willing to do. If that is too hurtful, you need him to be more and do more, then you do need to cut of contact.

    Answer by frogdawg at 8:01 AM on Aug. 23, 2009

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