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Should I Drug Test My Husband?

I am aware of his use of pills in the past, (recent past), I do not agree with drug use and have been trying to help him stop. Well he lost his job not long ago and he was working with pill user's thank God that's over! Well now he's out of state working and only comes home every couple of weekends. The crew he works with some may use and other's are known for using drugs (different ones). I just have this bad feeling and bad dreams about him doing drugs. I don't want to be married to someone who uses, and I do not want that influence for our daughters.
I want to drug test him when he comes home next weekend, and if anything other than pills shows up (that's all Im currently aware of) then that will determine a lot of things right now. Please give an answer, and don't be mean I am in a really tough situation in my marriage and need to better my families life.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:36 AM on Aug. 23, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • From my own personal experience you could ask him about it and you know he will either lie or admit to it and promise never to do it again. If he is an addict he is going to use until HE is ready to give it up. If you leave that MIGHT be enough to make him want to get help. You probably already have a good idea that he is using again but if you need to test him to believe yourself go ahead. It might help you if you decide to divorce him. Drugs get such a hold on people and they just cannot shake it. It is really sad if you think about it but you cant stay and let him drag you and your family down with him. Let me know if you need someone to talk to about it.
    treynlisa

    Answer by treynlisa at 10:54 AM on Aug. 23, 2009

  • talk to him and tell him how you feel
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:37 AM on Aug. 23, 2009

  • Ok I have talked and talked we have done counseling, he knows exactly how I feel...SHOULD I DRUG TEST HIM? Thank you for your answers
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:40 AM on Aug. 23, 2009

  • no, if he says he's not doing it, then try to trust him, if you can't trust your husband then you shouldn't be together
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:42 AM on Aug. 23, 2009

  • Could you just ask him about the use of pills and whatnot or would he lie about it?

    Some things to think about:
    If the drug test came back positive, what would you do?
    Would testing him without his consent lead to more conflict between you two?

    I think you might be best off just talking to him about your concerns. If he admits he has a problem and cant get better on his own maybe you could encourage him to go to some sort of rehab.
    jenrose82

    Answer by jenrose82 at 10:43 AM on Aug. 23, 2009

  • We Have Talked and Talked, He has admitted to pill use, and I've seen him take them, we even went to counseling. He says he's trying to quit, but now he's with known drug user's ans there's no telling what he's doing. You can only talk soooooo much, that doesn't help an addict.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:47 AM on Aug. 23, 2009

  • Cheating, smoking, drinking alcohol, and taking drugs are all addictions. He has to stop on his own. You can encourage him and be supportive. But you can not make him quite. Testing him is not the way to go. You know he is an addict. You need to deside if you want to keep dealing with this or not.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 10:52 AM on Aug. 23, 2009

  • Thank You Ladies! Really if I drug test him it help help me to see if he's doing other drugs that I'm not aware of and if he is then we have even more of an issue.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:56 AM on Aug. 23, 2009

  • Drug testing him will make things worse, Why? He may refuse to take it for you, and then you'll have to deal with a hostile husband, and he'll start to feel like you're some probation officer. Try talking to him, and asking him if he's keeping his word on staying clean. I understand your concern though, drugs will ruin a marriage for me too if my husband was addicted, BUT throwing a drug test in his face will cause a serious argument and you want to keep things calm with a drug user.good luck, and remember to try a better approach.
    ambr2006

    Answer by ambr2006 at 11:27 AM on Aug. 23, 2009

  • I can't believe what I'm hearing. A wife wants to drug test her husband? First, you cannot do it without his permission and if he is using he's not going to give permission. Then again he might think you are out of line and won't give permission anyway so you won't know anymore than you do now. If you don't trust this man then leave but don't treat him like a bad child. He may resent you for it and may go out and do drugs just to show you he's an adult and can make his own choices without his "mom" nagging him. So, to answer your question, No you shouldn't (and I don't think you can unless he says so) drug test a grown man. However, you can ask his boss to drug test him.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:46 AM on Aug. 23, 2009