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TTC and married to someone else?

me and my SO are both starting jobs this week, paying almost 11$ an hour, and we've talked about TTC, he is also getting like 8,000 in school money.. My son is almost 2 1/2, and we talked about starting right around his 3rd birthday. We arent very well off on money right now, so ofcourse we wont now, but if are better by then and can afford everything we would like too.. the only other thing is im married, and soon to be divorced so we wont be getting married right away.. and me and my SO plan on getting married, we've been together for a while now, ive just been married the whole time ( no money for divorce) so should i go ahead and TTC or should i just wait to get married and then try? I just dont know how long it would be till we could afford a wedding.

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:58 AM on Aug. 23, 2009 in Trying to Conceive

Answers (7)
  • anyone?

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:07 PM on Aug. 23, 2009

  • go ahead, as long as youre getting divorced. i dont see the problem. i know lots of women who dated and everything while they were going through a divorce. as long as you have the means to take care of the child go for it. and you dont HAVE to be married to have a family. . . or you can always go to the court house and get married once the divorce is finalized. and then when you have the money renew your vows on an anniversary, and have the big wedding.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:14 PM on Aug. 23, 2009

  • divorce first dont start something new before its over.. it could all just look very bad for you specially if you have a baby before your divorced you have to put the husband down as the father and if you cant really afford a 2nd i wouldn't overall it screams BAD IDEA

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:22 PM on Aug. 23, 2009

  • I'm a little confused why you would have to put down you husband's name if you knew the baby's father was your current SO.
    I've never heard of that before.
    If there are no ties to the ex, alimony, child support, etc that are still hanging over you, I wouldn't worry about waiting for the divorce.
    I would however wait until you're financially in a place to pull this off.

    Answer by Six_on_my_own at 12:58 PM on Aug. 23, 2009

  • i think you should divorce 1st... just to keep things alittle less complicated.... but i gotta ask.. are you sure you wanna sooo soon? Also have a baby with this guy already?

    good luck

    Answer by DesignDiva21 at 3:49 PM on Aug. 23, 2009

  • If you are seeing a lawyer, I'd talk to them about it. This may bring in some interesting legal questions.

    Answer by MotherofIreland at 4:03 PM on Aug. 23, 2009

  • You need to get divorced first, married second, then think about TTC. With your salaries and the desire to have a child, you need to not be concerned with a "wedding" and be concerned with instead the marriage.

    Also, you may not be able to get divorced if you're pregnant. In my state, a pregnant woman is unable to get a divorce. She has to wait until she gives birth before she can get divorced.

    Answer by ThrivingMom at 11:35 PM on Aug. 23, 2009

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