Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I dont know what to do... Can you give me some advice?

My ex has been drinking like crazy lately (for the past 2 weeks non-stop)...this is the reason I broke up with him. I told him that I would support him if he wanted to quit because I love him and I want to be with him.

Today he is trying to stay sober. He told me that he wanted me to stop by his house and give him a kiss after I get off of work cause it would give him something to look forward to and would help keep him from wanting to drink.

Any advice or opinions would help.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:18 PM on Aug. 23, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • He's only gonna stop if and when he wants to and he want the nookie on the side! Seriously good luck with him or there are more fish in the sea, you can't change people you can only change your direction...do you want to stay and be there for the worst or move on and find some happiness?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:23 PM on Aug. 23, 2009

  • Don't stop by. You left him to bring sobriety. Tell him when he's sober per day to call you. If you can you'll support him.

    Tell him to call alcoholics anony and also alanon for you to atttend.

    Some Episcopal churches (just a staging place for meetings not religious content) have tons of alcoholics supports groups.

    give aa a call, it's support for the one who's sick and for loved ones too.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:27 PM on Aug. 23, 2009

  • i disagree, alittle encouragement and support is what love is about. why be so harsh the man wanted a kiss not a million dollars. if you have an addiction usually quitting gradually is much more effective then cold turkey, and to lose youre family over it that is enough heartache. id turn to proverbs and start reading.
    danahake

    Answer by danahake at 2:36 PM on Aug. 23, 2009

  • Follow your heart. Coming from someone who hs been there, I can only tell you the obvious: He will not change unitl he is ready. Alcoholism is a disease, and treating the disease is a long tedious process. If you sincerely love this man, and want to stand by him, then go for it. You' d be surprised how far a little love and compassion will go. On the other hand if you are unsure, and have not known him long, I think I would err on the side of caution by telling him to call once he has a few days sobriety under his belt. Alcoholism is an extremly wicked disease, it tears apart many people. I agree with those who have advised Al-Anon. I think you should certainly look into it. Best of luck to you!!
    kiddosX8

    Answer by kiddosX8 at 4:02 PM on Aug. 23, 2009

  • 127anon here kisses in a truly troubled relationship lead more often to more babies with the trouble continuing and worsening. If proverbs really worked there wouldn't be alcoholism and so many other illnesses. overcoming an addiction and battling any other kind of illness takes physical care proven historically more than the care of prayers.

    maintaining a family life that is good with an active addiction in it, and addictions are illnesses of the body like any other illness, is very very hard.

    Separating from him, op, will strengthen you and tell partner that you care for life not him alone.
    Life is your children, yourself, other loved ones put aside in past times of heartache of addiciton illness.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:23 PM on Aug. 23, 2009

  • That is called manipulation. He needs to do it on his own and not use you as a crutch bc if you do something wrong (in his eyes) then he'll blame it on you whenever he falls off the wagon
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:06 PM on Aug. 23, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN