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Daughter's friend

How do you politely stop your daughter from being friends with a child you really don't like? Actually the problem is my daughter going to her house. Usually her single mom says she'll be there, then each time she's been there, I find out that for one reason or another, the mom wasn't there/had to leave. And leave the kids with an older brother/sister. Have her over at our house? Good idea, right? Wrong! When she's been here, her mom has left her for hours with an excuse of having to work, etc. Calling at the last minute, asking if she can stay a little more. And since the mom's not around a lot, this child calls mine constantly! She'll sometimes call 4/5 times in a row if we don't answer. And yes, we don't answer on purpose. How do you help a relationship like this dissolve? Or am I being a crazy mother?

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BunnyButterfly

Asked by BunnyButterfly at 3:15 PM on Aug. 23, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Does your daughter not want to be friends with her? If so, then call the mom and tell her. If she wants to be friends with this girl, I don't see the problem. She's a single mom, cut her a break. Would you be doing the same thing if you were a single mom? Maybe this girl is lonely because her mom has to work all the time and the only thing you want to do is not answer the phone and bitch about the mom not being there? Wow....have a heart lady! Honestly, if i was the single mom, i wouldn't want my daughter to play with your daughter because she might look down on me because i'm a single mom doing the best I can to raise my family. I wouldn't want her playing with a stuck family.

    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 3:21 PM on Aug. 23, 2009

  • My daighter is 8 and has a "friend" like that She runs the neighborhood and is constantly playing in our yard when we're not home! I came home one day and my neighbor told me some little blonde girl was driving my sons powerewheels to and from the park down the street and then had to help her PUSH it back to my house because she ran the battery dead! meanwhile DH and I were grounding our kids for leaving yard toys all over the place and their bikes on the side walk. Coem to find out it was the neighbor girl! BIG apologoes were due.

    Anywho, one day I had the day off so I parked next door at my sisters house in her garage and low and behold here comes the neighbor girl playing in my BACK yard in our POOL! She had a bathing suit on brought a toweland everything. I couldn't believe my eyes. At this point I had it so I stormed out my back door phone in hand and called the police!
    luvbnmomnwife

    Answer by luvbnmomnwife at 3:22 PM on Aug. 23, 2009

  • contd.....(we live in a small town and I figured I would give them soemthing to do...lmao) They showed up while I had her waiting on my front porch. I explained to them the situation and the past occurances. (I had previously took said child home and spoke with her parents about the issue) Needless to say they were concerned! So, they drove her home and tried to speak with her parents and ended up filing charges because when they showed up mom was passed out in the back yard and smelled of Boo's.

    Long story short, have a talk with mom. When/if that doesn't work have a talk with the proper authorities. It's called neglect and child endangerment!
    luvbnmomnwife

    Answer by luvbnmomnwife at 3:25 PM on Aug. 23, 2009

  • Ugh! I don't think "bunny" has an issue with the girl or her mom because her mom is single. I think she has an issue about possibly feeling like another persons child is being pawned off on her! I would feel the same way if a neighborhood childs parent called me last minute and said I need to keep her child while she runs to work. Knowing the lady probably isn't going to work at that time. Plus leaving my child supervised by another child would never fly with me. Unacceptable! Single or not!
    luvbnmomnwife

    Answer by luvbnmomnwife at 3:29 PM on Aug. 23, 2009

  • She said "she really doesn't like the child". That says it all. Just call the mom and tell her that she's an irresponsible parent, her lifestyle doesn't fit your standards and her child is too clingy. That should work.

    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 3:33 PM on Aug. 23, 2009

  • hmm.. i think when i was younger i was the girl that your talking about. my mom was a single mom who sometimes had to work 2 or 3 jobs to support us, especially since we live in ny and its very expensive here. i spent alot of times at friend's houses, and i remember one of my best friends mom asked me if my mom was going to start paying her rent, and she wasnt really joking. she was joking, but not in a nice way and it really hurt my feelings. i think your being kind of mean.
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 3:55 PM on Aug. 23, 2009

  • Okay,how about you trade places with this single mom, there is all types of being racist, sound like this woman isn't fortunate like you to be home all day, she has to work,I'm quite sure there is times she has to work over-time,I would feel so good for another mom to trust me to watch their child. You know, we have to be very sure of the things we tell our kids, I can hear you now,Mommy don't want you to play with your friend,she come over too much,your loving DD will repeat your words to that child,and you will go down in history as a meany to kids.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:43 PM on Aug. 23, 2009

  • Streight outa the gate-If you don't like the kid,then it's not a kid that you want your dd to be friends w. Listen to your instincts here. I would simply cut off communication between the two girls. I know it sounds harsh but your dd is your child and if you are getting bad vibes then end it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:58 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • lovemomnwife-That IS awful!! That little girl could have dround in your pool! You did the right thing! And Mom was passed out at home-Crazy!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:01 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • IF YOUR DAUGHTER DOESN'T WANT TO HANG OUT WITH TIS GIRL THAT MUCH. YOU SHOULD LET HER KNOW IN A NICE WAY. But if it's you who seems tired of this girl being around all the time.Then do something about it. go out to the mall with your daughter , go out to lunch. go out to the movies. take her to the zoo. go out and visit family members. or just pick up the phone and have your daughter tell her friend that she can't come out right now because she's helping you with the dishes or she picking up her room. or you can pick it up sometimes and say she's not here she's over a friends house . im sure she'll get the message. but I think its a shame to keep your daughters friend away so much. They might be best friends. and as long as this girl is a good kid. I dont see anything wrong for them being together .and having fun.
    incarnita

    Answer by incarnita at 10:03 AM on Aug. 26, 2009

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