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Should I marry or not?

Ok, this may sound rediculous but I am struggling. We (my fiance & I) just found out that he may have a genetic disorder causing his cholesterol, triglycerides & ferritin to be very elevated and his HDL to be fatally low. The doctor friends we have spoken with have advised that he see a doctor immediately. Well, he is self employed and does not have insurance. The only way to get insurance in a hurry? Get married. I love him and we have been planning on getting married anyway but now I am really having second thoughts. If I decide to do it, we must do it tomorrow to add him to the insurance by September 1st. Here is the problem. Sometimes he acts like I am his personal secretary & getting him to do anything with me (outside of the ranch) is like pulling teeth. He won't even attend most of my family functions. He is a workaholic but I thought this "death scare" would show him what's really important in life. HELP!!!

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Asked by baghagmom at 8:41 PM on Aug. 23, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (8)
  • it would be a pre existing condition so insurance wouldnt cover him anyway

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:48 PM on Aug. 23, 2009

  • if your having second thoughts on wether you want to marry him or not, dont do it just so that he gets health insurance.

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 8:48 PM on Aug. 23, 2009

  • It would not be a pre-existing condition as he has not been "diagnosed" and only did a blood wellness check offered by my workplace. He has not met with a doctor yet, only visited with a couple of doctor friends of ours. All we have is a printout with the numbers on it. I am a researcher so I figured out the numbers. I do love him and will marry him but I don't like all of this rush rush stuff. Also, I am Catholic and getting married outside the church is a mortal sin. We can then have the marriage blessed but we would have a bunch of hoops to jump through.

    Answer by baghagmom at 9:10 PM on Aug. 23, 2009

  • You love him, you are planning to marry him anyway....I say go ahead and do it now. If you really do love him you want him to get the medical treatment he needs. If the situation were reversed, don't you think he'd do it for you? It's not like you weren't already planning to get married. It's the first of many tests of your love and committment! Go for it!

    Answer by robinann5 at 9:24 PM on Aug. 23, 2009

  • Well, first, unless things have changed since I did it, getting married is something that allows you to add him to your insurance at that time, regardless of other restrictions. So, I would think that you don't HAVE to do it by tomorrow. With that said, if you really love him and truly want to marry him anyway, and would have married him anyway, go for it. But don't do it JUST to get him the insurance.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 9:28 PM on Aug. 23, 2009

  • Honestly?!  If you have to ask, then I would say no.


    Answer by beeky at 9:41 PM on Aug. 23, 2009

  • I do plan on marrying him I guess I just feel like I am so rushed now. We can always have a ceremony later. And I do have to do it tomorrow to get him on my insurance the 1st of the following month.

    Answer by baghagmom at 10:31 PM on Aug. 23, 2009

  • Blue Cross Blue Shield offers individual plans, so does HumanaOne . Check their websites for your states, You don't have to get married to get insurance quick

    Answer by Swimmyfish at 3:56 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

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