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How many miscarriage have you suffered?

If you have suffered a pregnancy loss, what helped you heal? Were you a member of online support groups? If you were a member of an online group, would you mind sharing more information about the group. Was your family supportive? Your friends?

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Maximummy

Asked by Maximummy at 9:52 PM on Aug. 23, 2009 in Trying to Conceive

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Answers (10)
  • I just had one two weeks ago. I don't really know alot of people who have gone through it. Everyone keeps saying your soooo young you have time to try again blah blah blah that doesn't make me feel better!

    but when i saw my dr. she was AMAZING. She said it is okay to be sad and to be angry and to grieve and to think about it and things like that. It is hard I think no matter how far along you were...you can message me if you wanna talk about it.

    i was 7 weeks along...and soooo happy and soooo excited.
    how far along were you?
    Ladyj2121

    Answer by Ladyj2121 at 10:01 PM on Aug. 23, 2009

  • one, I only had my husband's support, but, then I hid my feelings for a long time. Then, the guilt came. So, I just let myself cry. Today, I have a healthy 7 yr old boy after years of trying and having Endo. My son was asked a question at school. How many siblings do you have? He was the only child that didn't have any. This confused him. He came home and asked me why I didn't have any more babies. He also asked if he could have a younger brother or sister. I have always been able to talk to my son. He's mature in that department. I told him that I couldn't and that one time I had a miscarriage. So, he asked me, " I have a brother or sister up in Heaven?" I said, "Yes." I was expecting a reaction but not the one I received. He was so happy to find out that he had an older brother/sister. He said to me, "someday, when I go to Heaven, I will get to meet him/her." This came from a 7 yr old. And, yes, I stillmorn for the lost one
    Safirejewl

    Answer by Safirejewl at 10:08 PM on Aug. 23, 2009

  • contin. I was about 4 to 5 weeks pregnant when I miscarried. If you have, I am sorry. I miscarried back in the early 90's. I didn't know at the time I was pregnant. I didn't tell anyone because one person I told was cruel. I hope you have good friends and family members to help and a supportive doctor. (((hugs)))

    Safirejewl

    Answer by Safirejewl at 10:13 PM on Aug. 23, 2009

  • I've had two myself, one at 5w3d, but I didn't know until closer to 9 weeks. The next was considered a chemical pregnancy, but that term didn't make me feel any better.
    Maximummy

    Answer by Maximummy at 10:14 PM on Aug. 23, 2009

  • I miscarried at 6 weeks last year and then 4.5 weeks this year but like Maximummy said mine was also classified as a Chemical pregnancy - which isn't any better then saying you miscarried. I was lucky to have a friend who also lost 2 babies so I was able to talk to her other then that I just started to try again to have another baby.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:25 PM on Aug. 23, 2009

  • i had 2 one at 6 weeks than another somewhere between 6 and 8 weeks about a year and a half later. both times i had a great support system in my friends, family and husband. and about 5 months after the second m/c i got pregnant w/my daughter who is now 3.5 and i have a son now as well who is 3 months. its hard as hell to get through, and the "firsts" will be the hardest (the due date,what would have been first xmas etc..) but after a while the pain starts to fade and its still there when you look back but not a daily constant. for me i know they happened for a reason. with the first i had a tough year after that financially and in my marriage and it would have been alot tougher w/a baby. with the second, hurricane katrina was what would have been 3 months after the birthdate, so i would have had a 3 month old instead of being 5 months pregnant w/no where to live. so i just tell myself it worked that way so that i could CONT
    vabchmommy

    Answer by vabchmommy at 10:31 PM on Aug. 23, 2009

  • CONT have my crazy gorgeous daughter and my smiley giggly son.
    vabchmommy

    Answer by vabchmommy at 10:31 PM on Aug. 23, 2009

  • I had one last year. Still ttc. Everyone was very supportive when i finally opened up about it. We had already been ttc, so it was a touchy subject. After, i learned of a lot of friends and family that had one or more (and all have kids), so i didn't feel so alone. It's just not something that's talked about so openly. I'm not sure if some women can ever completely heal from a miscarrage? I haven't.

    One of my best friends had over 12 confirmed miscarrages (the doctors think there was more) before they figured out what was wrong. She's now due in a couple weeks with her first baby. She's strong. I'm sure i could not go through that 12 plus times.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:08 AM on Aug. 24, 2009

  • ive had one, i was 3-4 weeks, but it was still really really devistating. i joined www.nationalshare.org which is a great organization that helped me cope with my loss. www.asmallvictory.org is another miscarriage site that i love, i recieved a "miscarriage package' and it honestly helped me and my fiance with our loss, but now i think you have to leave a donation to get one, but i swear it will be worth it. They give you tons of papers on how to cope with your loss, little keepsakes, kleenex, and some books. Also www.MyForeverChild.com makes some really pretty jewlery that is customized for your loss.
    JuwansMommy

    Answer by JuwansMommy at 1:16 AM on Aug. 24, 2009

  • I've never experienced a miscarriage but I can tell you that I lost my first born twin son 4 months ago. It was super hard and I grieved I didn't feel like talking to anyone. I cried and yelled and screamed and got it out! I did what I needed to do for myself at that point! I didn't have alot of support so didn't really talk to anyone and when I went online on sites for other moms who lost a child it hurt me and saddended me beyond myself to hear there stories. So I looked to my kids and my only surviving twin son for hope and courage. Also the knowledge that someday I will see my son and I know my son would not want me to cry my life away! He'd want me to live and live to the fullest because he couldn't! Everyone says it but it's true it wil get easier, from crying all day to everyday to a couple of days to once a week and once a month! If this question is about you I hope you feel better and grieve in a way that'll help you!
    babyangelromero

    Answer by babyangelromero at 3:24 AM on Aug. 24, 2009

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