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What would you do to offer comfort?

A very wonderful man my husband works with just had his wife leave him. He is a very devoted Christian & just a very good person in general. This man has never cheated, been abusive, etc. I'm sure he's not perfect. But no one is. Anyways.., he has stood by his wife while she has cheated on him multiple times & even w/his own brother! He has tried everything to make his marriage work. He doesn't believe in divorce. She secretly made arrangements to rent a place of her own & just told him she was leaving this week. She moved out this weekend. They have 3 beautiful kids together. She is basically just leaving them w/him. Doesn't really care as long as she gets her space. Anyways... his heart is broken. I feel so bad to him. But you can only say "I'm sorry" so many times. What can I say to him or what scripture can I give him to help him. Without it sounding rehearsed? He is such a good guy & I feel bad for him.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:47 PM on Aug. 23, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

Answers (36)
  • You can pray for God to give you a word for him and don't be on here gossiping. So they are in some troubled waters....their business and as a Christian he probably doesn't need nor want this kind of help...talking about his business and his wife/marriage.
    bloodbought

    Answer by bloodbought at 12:03 AM on Aug. 24, 2009

  • Finally a new question that's not about you and you can't stand it


    To the OP, actions speak louder than words. Offer to help with the kids or the house and let him know help is there if he needs it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:07 AM on Aug. 24, 2009

  • That is why I made it anonymus... I'm sorry if you feel that I was gossiping. I came here because I felt like I needed some help. And he has asked for my help/thoughts & I was just reaching out to see if anyone could offer me some guidance. I have prayed about it & I had the thought to come here. I don't understand your hostility but I will pray for you. I am sorry if I offended anyone. That certainly wasn't my intention. I was just trying to be a friend & I thought this was a place I could come w/out being judged. I guess I was wrong. :(
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:12 AM on Aug. 24, 2009

  • Did you read the post about sewer holes and rats? If not go climb in with them. They are not her actions to be taking and BB is right about the gossip.

    Then we better not ever hear one more word about her parents or her sister or her kids or her husband
    NotPanicking

    Answer by NotPanicking at 12:15 AM on Aug. 24, 2009

  • OP - there is no apologizing for the other posters, but you SHOULD be comfortable asking these questions here and it is NOT their place to judge except in their own minds. They are busy having their own private little drama night and it's a shame they felt they had to drag your question into it.

    It may be better if your husband is the one talking to this man, since they are the ones who work together. If it's someone you see all the time, though, be a friend, that's what he'll need.
    NotPanicking

    Answer by NotPanicking at 12:18 AM on Aug. 24, 2009

  • OP, I'm sorry you're getting some negativity here. It sounds like you just want to reach out and offer comfort to someone who's hurting...there's nothing wrong with that. As anon 10:07 said, offering to help out would be nice, or just letting him know you and your husband are there to help.
    AnamCara1

    Answer by AnamCara1 at 12:20 AM on Aug. 24, 2009

  • Wow... I don't even know what to say... guess people just don't get that when someone is asking for your help that you don't judge them. You help them. Isn't that what Jesus wants us to do? Love your neighbor as you would love yourself. Food for thought. :)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:22 AM on Aug. 24, 2009

  • ered at 9:15 PM on Aug. 23, 2009 by: NotPanicking
    Did you read the post about sewer holes and rats? If not go climb in with them. They are not her actions to be taking and BB is right about the gossip.

    Then we better not ever hear one more word about her parents or her sister or her kids or her husband
    ~~~
    NP, my parents are dead if it is me that you flung this out there too. Also talking about one's own family is not gossip especially when they are on CM and usually in the same post. If you are talking about me with this...my sister just decided she wasn't wasting anymore of her time with all the people that are on CM. She has better things to do. I talk about my husband in a loving way and I would not go into a public forum and talk about someone else's marriage if they confided in me on it.
    How is that helping? If the man and woman get back together what good does it do for all of their dirty laundry to be aired?
    bloodbought

    Answer by bloodbought at 12:25 AM on Aug. 24, 2009

  • I agree with the actions rather that words. React much in the same way you would if he had lost his wife to death. Sounds weird, I know... but to him, in his world, his marriage has died... so it's pretty similar. His needs will be similar, too - He'll need his space to deal with this as best he can. He'll need someone willing to listen w/o giving advice. He'll need help with his kids, the housework, cooking, and.... after a little while... discovering new things to fill his time --- taking up a hobby, getting out with friends, etc.
    Laura1229

    Answer by Laura1229 at 12:26 AM on Aug. 24, 2009

  • You can pray for God to give you a word for him and don't be on here gossiping. So they are in some troubled waters....their business and as a Christian he probably doesn't need nor want this kind of help...talking about his business and his wife/marriage.

    I always tried to tell you ladies that Bloodbought and 2mothers were holier then thou types that actually breed anger and hatred rather then peace or love. OP is asking for genuine advice and not "Bloodbought, What do you think about me for asking for advice"?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:27 AM on Aug. 24, 2009

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