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my daughter

my daughter is 9 and she is giving me probs. and i don't know what to do she has an attitude about everything. her father left when she was a year and when my son was five months old. Well just today she told me that i don't take care of them that granpa does and i don't know what to do she has this thing when i meet new people to talk to she wants to be at my side for some reason. please help.

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crackbaby526

Asked by crackbaby526 at 12:02 AM on Aug. 24, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • IS SHE GETTING PLENTY OF FAMILY TIME WITH YOU? KIDS ACT OUT WHEN THEY DON'T GET ENOUGH ATTENTION.
    mandielynn23

    Answer by mandielynn23 at 12:08 AM on Aug. 24, 2009

  • Why do kids these days need so much attention? I did not get lots of attention and im ok...i think?...hmmm.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:10 AM on Aug. 24, 2009

  • I agree with the above posted. I realize you have two children, but it is essential that each get individual attention. It sounds like she is kinda confused.. wanting your attention, yet she feels like she has to compete for it as well. Little girls are a bit confusing, very bossy, and it is natural for her to want to be involved in your adult conversations... don't think that's abnormal.. however, you have to teach her to that your adult time is simply just that.. adult time. Don't be mean about it, because she has no clue.. just patiently talk to her about it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:11 AM on Aug. 24, 2009

  • today girls that age are modeling sexy and all over the news too. Plus girls that age sometimes even get their periods. One of my daughters started right after she turned 11.

    Set rules. Not guidelines, flat out rules of what respect is for her to you and her for herself. you're her mom, youre allowed to do that and you're supposed to do that. You are her mother and you're bringing her up help or no help.

    If you're not strict now it will not be able to be done when she's older. My son is in his twenties now and I can see that through the years my strictness, I'm more strict far more than his father or grandmother, was worth it as he was growing and now.




    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:11 AM on Aug. 24, 2009

  • I agree with the first answer. Kids need more attention these days cuz there life is much more diferent today then it was years ago
    looovemybabies

    Answer by looovemybabies at 12:16 AM on Aug. 24, 2009

  • Kids have changed so much in the past 30 years it is amazing! My dd just turned 9 and she has attitude for days, she and I are at each other's throats all day, every day. I am SO happy that school starts tomorrow. I have found that talking to her and telling her that she hurts my feelings when she is nasty seems to work. I use time-outs and losing TV as punishments, I also often ask her, "Who do you think you are talking to?" It makes her take a step back and question her tone, and oftentimes she ends up apologizing to me. Good luck!
    emnasmom

    Answer by emnasmom at 8:22 AM on Aug. 24, 2009

  • She is doing and saying these things to get attention and she is probably missing that father figure in her life. My parents were never really 'parents' and I acted out in every way possible because even if I was receiving negative attention I still had their attention even if only for a few minutes.

    Make a special day for just you two (and do the same for your other child as well) try to do this atleast once a week. Make it all about her let her choose what you do and then do a family day out where you & your two kids just go out and do fun things together all day long.
    KalebsMommee

    Answer by KalebsMommee at 11:44 AM on Aug. 24, 2009

  • The attitude could be in part of her hormones that are begining to kick in.But the clingyness you talked about sounds like she is protecting what she thinks is hers.I'd just try to spend some fun time with her when you can.Girls are hard to raise.
    evelynwest

    Answer by evelynwest at 1:16 PM on Aug. 24, 2009

  • I think you have an insecure little girl on your hands. One of her parents up and left her, and she doesn't have any way of knowing that the other one won't do the exact same thing. Children like her need lots of reassurance. She also needs boundaries that are enforced by her mom. Children actually feel more secure when they know what their boundaries are and that those will be enforced. One way that I think you could really help her is by telling her that you made a poor choice when you picked her dad to be her father, that that is your fault and in no way has anything to do with her. I would also tell her that I would love to have a do-over and that I would try to choose more wisely but unfortunately children only get one dad and one mom. I would then reassure her that you have no intentions of ever leaving her like that. That may seem senseless to you, but it will mean a lot to your child.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 7:28 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

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