The last thing you need right now is a man. What you need is to spend a lot of time searching your own heart and finding out why you are the way you are. Unless you do that, it will be impossible for you to ever have a meaningful, lasting marriage. So much of the way we are is a result of the way we were raised, and that's always a good place to start. We all need healing, some much more than others. Also, if you have had a number of sexual relationships, you have given away a lot of who you are, and you need to learn about all the consequences of that. Stories like yours make me very sad, because so much of what is going on in your life need not have ever happened. But the good news is that there is help and healing, but you have to really search it out, and you have to believe that you can be different. I pray you find the health and healing for yourself that you need.
at 8:23 AM on Aug. 24, 2009