Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Are Dads afraid to be parents???

Im 8 1/2 months preganant now, and who was my fiance took off again to be with the same girl he left me for back when i 4 months pregnant!! But then 2 weeks later he came crawling back begging me to take him back and that he is sorry, i pushed it off like he was afraid to be a dad!! But now he also saying that he dont want to be there when our son is born, he dont want to be in the room with me when i deliever!! Im just wondering will he change once he sees our son or will he keep doing this running back and forth between me and her??

Answer Question
 
LanesMommy17z

Asked by LanesMommy17z at 2:24 AM on Aug. 24, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • I'm so.... sorry that you're going through this right now. Some guys are just jerks. Hopefully he will be a better father than significant other. Best Wishes!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:26 AM on Aug. 24, 2009

  • I'm sorry. Apparently you like this treatment. It will never change and you will have to grow a backbone. You need to grab your life by the balls as this baby needs you to grow up and be strong.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:30 AM on Aug. 24, 2009

  • you need 2 let him go.if hes not being supportive and there 4 u now then hes not when the baby is here.hes to busy chasin the pussy when he should be realizing hes starting a family.prepare yourself to be on your own because i honestly doubt its gonna get better.he seems really young in the mind.
    Desi2Sweet

    Answer by Desi2Sweet at 2:34 AM on Aug. 24, 2009

  • A real man dosn't get scared and run oway to another girl and then comes crowling back like a foolish looser. A real man does everything he can to suport his women and soon to be child, you should do what you think is best thing to do for you and your baby. Good luck and God Bless
    looovemybabies

    Answer by looovemybabies at 2:41 AM on Aug. 24, 2009

  • First, yes, men can be scared about it, and can sometimes be overwhelmed by it. Just like women can. But there's a difference between a man and a boy (and in this case, age doesn't have anything to do with it - I know 30 yr old boys and 18 yr old men).

    The difference is that a man, while scared and overwhelmed, is still there - they stick by the family they made, they are there for the mother of their child, and they are there for the child. They don't get scared and run away. A boy does, and, just like a child, when the fear passes, or when things get hard in the new situation, wants to be able to come back to Mommy (or old gfs / baby moms)
    I'm sorry, I know it's going to hurt, but it sounds like you're with a boy, not a man. Once, I would have said he was a boy but is becoming a man. Twice or more - in one pg no less - sorry, but he's not growing up any. You have a boy as father to your baby. I'm sorry :-(
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 2:50 AM on Aug. 24, 2009

  • sorry sugar, but it sounds as if he is just not up for the challenge of being a dad just yet. this is his first child correct? i have never been in your situation, so I can only guess that he is too immature. i am guessing you are both pretty young, not judging just guessing. you probably have thought this all through but if he is a first time dad, i am sure he has not! especially if he says he is not interested in the birth process whatsoever. i would just say f... it and do it without him(hopefully you have a family member that is willinhg to be with you, if you so wish of course). BUT, it is up to you when. i would or have someone else call him when your baby is born or about to be and inform him, you never know he may have a change of heart. whether he likes it or not, that child is and will always be his responsibility. if he is a MAN, he will accept and not fight it!
    truthteller0722

    Answer by truthteller0722 at 3:00 AM on Aug. 24, 2009

  • Cheating is terrible and I don't think that should be so easily forgiven even if he is have trouble adjusting to the prospect of fatherhood. On the other thing you brought up - I know MANY fathers who did not want to be in the room while the mothers of their children gave birth and I can assure you that if you two are capable of working things out - he wont be the only anxious soon-to-be-daddy in the waiting room. I wouldn't be so hard on him with that unless you feel he's doing it for a bad reason like because he doesn't care about his child at all. If it would just make him uncomfortable to be there then don't force him to. Find a friend or a relative to be with you in the room if you need one and have the doc call him in when the baby comes out.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:43 AM on Aug. 24, 2009

  • Your boyfriend is immature and selfish. I don't think that having a child will change either of those character traits. The one thing that might cause him to want to change would be for you to tell him that you will no longer tolerate being a member of his harem, that he must choose whether or not he wants you or the other honey and that his answer will determine whether or not he gets to see his child. What is so sad is that he has always been who he is, but you did not see it until after you had conceived a child and began to see that character does indeed matter. What is even sadder is that the child about to be born had absoluteley no choice in who was selected for his father. You can move on to another man but your child is going to be stuck with the only father he will ever have. I hope there is some other man in your life like a dad or an uncle or a brother who can be a dad to your child. He's going to need one.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:17 AM on Aug. 24, 2009

  • My husband certainly wasn't afraid to be a parent... but I can only speak for what happened in out situation.

    Navymama

    Answer by Navymama at 10:01 AM on Aug. 24, 2009

  • He's treating you terribly. I think it's absolutely horrible that he is cheating on you while you're pregnant. I'm sorry to say this but I don't imagine him changing once the baby is born. Things only get harder then.
    wildflowers25

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 10:51 AM on Aug. 24, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN