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Starting to lose touch with my husband

My DH and I have been married for 4+ years and we have a beautiful DD together. I love him unconditionally but I have noticed lately that we are starting to lose touch with each other. He is always out doing his thing, I never have time to do anything for myself. (We are rarely even intimate anymore) What makes it harder is I work full time and I also go to college so any time I can get with my husband and daughter I make the best of it. But my DH is never home anymore, seems like there is always something more important for him to do.

We bicker constantly, can't agree on anything, and of all things.....he told me I don't do anything! I am a wonderful mother to my child, I work full time, I go to college, I still manage to get all of my homework done and keep the house clean. How is that fair?

I'm at a loss for words. I feel like my marraige is falling apart in front of me and I don't know how to stop it.


Asked by Anonymous at 8:46 AM on Aug. 24, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (4)
  • With your extremely busy schedule I don't know if you'll be able to manage this, but it really seems that you and your husband need a weekend away. We used to go away about once a month if we could arrange for a sitter for the children. It let us reconnect and relax from the constant responsibilities at home. If you can even manage one weekend now and another sometime in the future it might help. Also a date night every week. You both may think you can't fit it in, but you should. And if you can't get a sitter, then take your daughter along. Stroll around the neighborhood or the mall, have a picnic, go to the pool, something to spend time together focusing on each other and not school or the job. He should never have said that to you, but it could be that he resents your focus on other things, which he shouldn't , but there it is. Schedule times together when you focus on just him.

    Answer by Bmat at 8:53 AM on Aug. 24, 2009

  • Weekends away: we went to places not more than a 3 hour drive where we could walk around hand in hand, and the toughest decision was where shall we eat lunch and supper. Bed and Breakfasts are romantic and low key, but hotels work out fine, too. Sit and talk while you people watch or explore shops or watch the boats come in, or even just sit and watch TV in your room- side by side, relating funny or serious things going on in your lives. It's a time to remind yourselves how much you love each other.

    Answer by Bmat at 8:56 AM on Aug. 24, 2009

  • He's lost touch, you have a busy schedule and seem to do way more than him and at least you have priorities! Talk to him and be serious about what you want and expect, if he doesn't change try counseling, if that doesn't work, then leave the guy!

    Answer by MommaRox4683 at 9:22 AM on Aug. 24, 2009

  • don't lose heart. Sometimes it happens to the best marriages. My husband and I have been married 4yrs too. I always look at myself first, is there anything that is bothering him about what I am doing, work, school, kids, house, etc...? Is there anything in my life he doesn't think is a priority, change it! I try and change myself as much as possible, not because I think that I am the only one that SHOULD change but because I love him and want to show him that I am willing to do anything to keep us connected. Usually I will ask him (at a good time) "sweetheart, is there anything that is bothering you right now, cause I feel like we are drifting apart, because _______, can I do anything to help this?" But if you ask this, make sure your ready to hear the truth! haha! Anyways, I hope you two can find something to help you guys!

    Answer by Morganne1231 at 10:17 AM on Aug. 24, 2009