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Why won't he help me more?

Firstly let me say that i am new, and still trying to figure things out, but anywho. my problem is with my fiance. We have been together for 9 years and have 2 girls 4 1/2 and 1 month old. We had our first right out of highschool, he helped out but not as mush as i would have liked him to. But now it is a lot worse with the second one, its like i have to beg him to get my youngest when she is crying or needs something...It is making us argue all the time and putting a strain on our relationship. Now I try to do everything my self without asking him, so by 9pm I am really tired and need to wake up with my newborn at night like a zombie. He works full time and i do understand that it is tiring, but so is being a SAHM! I asked him numerous times if he would wake up at night with her on the weekend so I could atleast rejuvinate myself for one night, but he says he'll try and never does? Is there anything else that I can do?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:49 PM on Aug. 24, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • I'm sorry that you have to go through that i would tell him to be a father or leave him. you should be stronger and stand your ground you don't need a man-child like that in your life.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:54 PM on Aug. 24, 2009

  • It sounds like he is taking you for granted. You DO need me time just like he does. Maybe you need to take that 'me' time somewhere other than the house and leave him with the kids and a bottle for awhile?
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 12:57 PM on Aug. 24, 2009

  • Take me time, or get a part time job.... Even just telling him you want to get a job, might do the trick. If you're working too, and he still expects you to do everything, then you can say...hey, I'm making money too, how about a little help?
    mumma28

    Answer by mumma28 at 1:20 PM on Aug. 24, 2009

  • That is the universal question...if you figure it out let me know...they think that just because we stay home that we do nothing but sit on the couch and watch soap operas....I have considered going on strike..and I still might..I tried to explain to him that at least he gets to clock out of work....my job is 24 hours a day and sometimes I don't even get a luch break...good luck..
    Jan40

    Answer by Jan40 at 1:43 PM on Aug. 24, 2009

  • I did go on strike. It was hard to watch the house turn to a dump, but it really opened his eyes. My DH works 6/13 hour days, so I don't ask him to do much, but on his day off, I will leave the house for a bit. When he has to take care of all three kids at one time without any help, he realized that I was not exaggerating. Tell your man that he needs to step up or step out. If he does not then you know he is not in this for the long run. Good luck.
    krissyvelazquez

    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 2:06 PM on Aug. 24, 2009

  • I finally had to tell mine, not ask anymore, to help or else. He started getting up with her first thing in the morning for the very first bottle which allowed me to sleep in. She would go back to sleep for a while after that bottle and it worked wonders, just that little bit.
    wildflowers25

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 2:43 PM on Aug. 24, 2009

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