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How would you feel if you husband told you after you were married that he had two affairs on his ex wife?

He told me prior to us getting married that he had never cheated on his wife. All of a sudden he got this strange email from this lady in Canada that seemed strange. It seemed harmless but she acted like more than just a long lost friend. So I questioned him again . He did willing show me the email. This lady seemed too cozy if you know what I mean. Anyway, now I am learning he cheated on his ex twice!!! I just wish he would have been honest with me. The first affair was only a year after the marriage. I asked him why he cheated and he said there was no reason, He just did!!!!! I guess it makes me nervous. One...Because he was not truthful and two that he acts as if it was no big deal. Should I be worried or let it go. I just wish he would not of lied. I have not really said much but it made me angry.I tend to hold things in.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:40 PM on Aug. 24, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • It would be a huge red flag for me too, both that he cheated in his first marriage and that he lied to me about it. I wouldn't leave him over it, but it would cause me to be more suspicious of him.
    riotgrrl

    Answer by riotgrrl at 2:42 PM on Aug. 24, 2009

  • I'd be pretty suspicious. He could have told you the truth in the beginning then it would have been out there. Instead he blatantly lied about it, then admitted it but it isn't a big deal to him. If he could lie to you about it PLUS cheat period and not be remorseful, then I would be worried that he would do it to you too.
    slw123

    Answer by slw123 at 2:50 PM on Aug. 24, 2009

  • In the book Why Men Cheat, it says that they cheat bc of how w makes him feel at home. Maybe she didn't make him feel like king of his castle. I'm guessing that's part of why they divorced as well. Just be yourself and make him feel appreciated and give him the emotional support he needs. He cheated on HER but it doesn't mean he will cheat on you.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:50 PM on Aug. 24, 2009

  • i would be pretty worried.. id be worried that he cheated on his exwife, and worried that he lied to you.
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 3:09 PM on Aug. 24, 2009

  • I believe once a cheater always a cheater, and he lied. That would make me a little worried.
    canthaveboys1

    Answer by canthaveboys1 at 4:57 PM on Aug. 24, 2009

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