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MIL Just Venting

Our 17 yr refuse to do anything but lay around, now his grandmother is giving him a car. DH told him he had to get a job and we would help buy a car. What can one do! EEEEEKKKKKKKK! We want him to learn responsibility but wont if his grandmother keeps giving him everything! Now we will have to make sure insurance is paid so we dont get our ass sued if something happens.

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dillonsma

Asked by dillonsma at 3:21 PM on Aug. 24, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Level 5 (81 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • You guys need to sit down with her and really let her know how you guys feel and that you are the parents, and she can get what she wants for his lazy ass, but if he doesn't follow your rules he isn't getting any of it and you'll send it back where it came from! There I helped you vent! LOL
    MommaRox4683

    Answer by MommaRox4683 at 3:28 PM on Aug. 24, 2009

  • He can have the car, but the gas & insurance can be HIS responsibility. My kids are younger, but my friend made her son have enough $ in savings to cover the deductible BEFORE he was allowed to drive the car his father gave him. And the insurance premium and gas are HIS responsibility. Its a law that cars have to be covered by insurance, so unless he complies - he's breaking the law. And that's not your rule, that's state law. He can't argue w/that one! Good luck.
    jj.mominmd

    Answer by jj.mominmd at 3:30 PM on Aug. 24, 2009

  • Just because she gives him a car. Does not mean you have to let him have it. You are still his parents . Tell him and grandma It will be parked at the house tell he gets off his ass and can pay for the insurance and gas himself. At least that's what I would do.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 3:31 PM on Aug. 24, 2009

  • We told her and she doesn't care, she said "Insurance is your problem" EEEEKKK. She thinks with her heart not her mind. We dont know how to handle this situation.
    dillonsma

    Answer by dillonsma at 3:33 PM on Aug. 24, 2009

  • I have a huge problem with this. Your MIL is undermining your authority as a parent and she is sabotaging your efforts to raise a young responsible adult. My suggestion is to tell her that no present will be handed to him unless you two the parents agreed and feel that he has earned the privilege of driving. I wouldn't pay for his insurance, I would simply not let him drive it until he earn enough money to pay for his own insurance and shows maturity enough to be a car owner.

    I would call the cops on him if he takes that car for a ride and I would cut off ties with MIL if she doesn't learn, accepts and respect the fact that thi is your child and this are your rules.
    bebita

    Answer by bebita at 3:33 PM on Aug. 24, 2009

  • The minutes she says: Insurance is your problem I would immediately tell her, the minute that car is in my drive way I am having it tow to goodwill and given away, you will not sabotage our attempts to do what is right for our child and as much as you think you are helping him, you are not. Our duty as parents is to raise him and you can either be supportive or be an outcast, the choice is yours.
    bebita

    Answer by bebita at 3:36 PM on Aug. 24, 2009

  • You don't have to pay the insurance. I assume the car is in his name or hers. So it's their problem. And if he's driving it w/o insruance it's his ticket, not yours.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:22 PM on Aug. 24, 2009

  • If he doesn't pay the insurance and gas he cannot drive it. Just becuase Grandma gave him the car doesn't mean you cannot take it away. Get it registered in your name then when he doesn't have the money for the insurance you yank the plates right back to DMV.
    goaliemom93

    Answer by goaliemom93 at 6:29 PM on Aug. 24, 2009

  • you know as parents you can tell him he cant have a car. In the state of ohio parents have the right to revoke their childs drivers license til they turn 18 if they want to.
    SaturnsMom

    Answer by SaturnsMom at 7:31 PM on Aug. 24, 2009

  • don't pay the insurance. don't give him money for gas.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 8:46 PM on Aug. 24, 2009

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