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What are the differences of age kids should be?

This question has always be wondered in woman's minds. What is a good difference age between all the kids. Is a year, 2 year, 3 years. What would be the best differences that will still make them love each other, and not too much of gab so they won't feel like they are way too separated from each other so they can't really communicate. If you have any suggestions plz let me know thanks.

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BuzyMamma

Asked by BuzyMamma at 4:56 PM on Aug. 24, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (8)
  • Umm ... theres no "should be" answer ... if you want your kids 1 , 2 ,4 ,9 ,12 years apart, -- fine ... its up to you. Theres no , "well i want a baby now , but i need to wait 5 years because thats how its supposed to be". you teach them to love eachother and get along. their age doesnt matter
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:59 PM on Aug. 24, 2009

  • Honestly, I don't think there is a 'right' answer. My kids are between 2 and 2.5 years apart. That's just how it worked out. However, I think there are factors other than spacing that affect how well kids get along and those are factors we don't have much control over, like gender and personality. I think there are just too many factors at play to say "x number of years will produce kids that like each other."
    Freela

    Answer by Freela at 5:00 PM on Aug. 24, 2009

  • The age difference really makes NO difference...it's the PARENTING.

    The sibs I knew who hated each other the most were 18 months apart; their parents always played the kids against each other. The ones who were closest were a decade apart....their parents viewed the family as a single unit where no one person was more importtant than anyone else.

    There are plenty of moms who will tell you their youngsters of varying age gaps get along fine. And it's all because of how the parents raised the kids.

    So...choose your spacing based on how YOU think you can best parent your children. It's not the chronology but the upbringing that matters.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 5:01 PM on Aug. 24, 2009

  • Oh- and just wanted to add that I agree with the other moms- getting along with sibs is something you need to model and teach. You can't necessarily make them 'like' each other but you can set behavioural standards of what is acceptable. For our house, you don't always have to 'like' your sibling, but you can't hit them or call them names or be mean to them. For the most part, they get along about 90% of the time and the other 10% is minor squabbling.
    Freela

    Answer by Freela at 5:04 PM on Aug. 24, 2009

  • Psychologically, I was told that having another child when one is between the age of 18 months and 3 is hard on the older child, because that is the age that they are really learning who they are as an individual. That's what I learned in a child and adolescent psychology course, however, I think that the spacing between children is entirely up to the mother, and all the issues and benefits you listed may not be avoided or obtained because of a certain age space. Personalities are varied of course, so what worked well for one mother may not (and probably won't) work the same for another mother.
    kitten_shuga

    Answer by kitten_shuga at 5:05 PM on Aug. 24, 2009

  • Like the other said I don't believe there is a "right" time or gap or whatever and sibling relations depend on lots of things including personality. I'm 2 years older then my brother and he was one of my best friends growing up. My dad was 9 or 10 years younger then his brother and was tormented his entire childhood by a jealous older brother who felt my dad got everything.
    My older 3 kids are each a year apart and for us that is perfect. They are 9, almost 8 and almost 7 and are best friends. They fight but at the end of the day they are still friends and do everything together (including sharing a room). Their baby sister is 3 and she gets along with all of them because of her personality.
    justanotherjen

    Answer by justanotherjen at 5:36 PM on Aug. 24, 2009

  • There isn't a universal right or wrong answer.. It's whatever works best for YOU and your family.
    My brother and I are 10 years apart and have the strongest bond that a brother and sister can really have everyone is always surprised to find out how much older he is... But people automatically assume before they know us that because we are 10 years apart we don't get along, have no close relationship and are night and day compared to each other. I know siblings who are closer in age who fight, bicker and argue because they feel they had to fight for their parents attention growing up and just never created a bond. So truthfully you can't say one is better than the other. If you want your kids close, have them close if you want them far apart have them far apart.
    KalebsMommee

    Answer by KalebsMommee at 5:37 PM on Aug. 24, 2009

  • Well, I have gaps of 4 1/2 yrs. then 22 months, then 3 yrs. Honestly, they all get along like sibs, they fight sometimes, and they love each other dearly. So I don't think there is a magic number.
    Petie

    Answer by Petie at 6:11 PM on Aug. 24, 2009

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