Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How do I get my 12, 11, and 8 year old girls to start picking up after themselves, take pride in their things.

I have been a very lax mother in that I have never taught my girls how to clean/pick up after themselves. I have 4 kids, one is a 3 year old son and find that doing things myself most times is easiest. I also let them eat in the living room and they are very disrespectful about the house, leaving crumbs, wrappers, etc., and I know it is my fault, but is there a way to change it now or is it too late??? HELP!! I don't want them to grow up this way!!! Any advice welcome.

Answer Question

Asked by Frankie64 at 1:08 PM on Jun. 23, 2008 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 5 (63 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • I have the same problem. I printed of a little goal chart that I found online. My daughter created pieces of paper with little things she would like to do - banana split, movie night (in-house as a family), play a board game, etc. We folded the paper and put them in a jar. When she does what I have listed on the chart she gets to pick a piece of paper from the jar. I don't put too many things on the chart. I just put things that I want her to get use to doing without me asking - brush your hair, brush your teeth, pick up 10 things and put them away, feed the dog. These are small things that don't take a lot of effort. If she picks up 10 things a day it helps keep the house a little cleaner. If I just ask her to clean her room it is too overwhelming (because she has too many toys - our fault). Hope this helps.

    Answer by bizlady at 1:23 PM on Jun. 23, 2008

  • It is never too late and I respect that you accept part blame. At those ages, I would start with a chore chart and small rewards. If they don't comply start taking away some of thier things, or activities. STOP cleaning for them. Also, I would start having all meals at the dinner table. When they have no clean clothes to go out in maybe they will start helping out more?!

    Answer by TaLouLaBelle at 2:18 PM on Jun. 23, 2008

  • Good for you for taking the blame... you're going to have to lead by example. You could offer rewards or allowance too. If they're getting lippy with you, you could have them do chores to earn their privileges too.

    Answer by crazysocks830 at 5:25 PM on Jun. 23, 2008

  • I am very disorganized but one thing I do is have EVERY meal at the table. There is no eating cereal and watching cartoons. Well... sometimes, but as a treat. my SO works shifts and the kids are all in baseball, but whoever is home when dinner is ready eats at the table. Also they must ask to take snacks to their rooms. My house is always a mess but the food/dishes are in one area.

    Answer by drowninginboys at 9:23 AM on Jun. 24, 2008

  • bare bottom over the lap spankings

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:07 PM on Jun. 25, 2008

  • if you find an answer that works, please share it! I've tried rewards but that loses momentum after about 3 weeks, grounding her or taking away things like stereo or phone, blah blah; but her room is a disaster area - and when she does clean I can find the mess under her bed!

    Answer by luvbeinhermom at 12:23 AM on Jun. 26, 2008

  • I grew up w/ chores on te fridge 24/7 so this was not an issue for me. But, I would simply revoke fun things. If they love the computer but hate cleaning their rooms... make a trade. Negotiation is 9/10ths of parenthood. keep track of what they do witout you telling them and praise them, i'd say their a bit old to get stickers for good work but, you get the idea.

    Answer by ChasesMommy0115 at 10:04 AM on Jun. 27, 2008

  • I've tried a chore list stuck it on the fridge for her to see,and still she forgets. I have warned her and now if it doesn't get done I go into her room with a garbage bag .Tell her to leave the room because if she can't take of her things .They can go to Goodwill or be thrown out. She challenged me once and I stuck to my word. Since then I haven't had a problem with her chores

    Answer by adrianne800 at 10:49 PM on Jul. 5, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.