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lying boyfriend

Ok, so I have been with my boyfriend for almost 7 years, we met when i was in high school. We used to party alot and smoke pot. Well we grew up, bought a house, had a beautiful daughter and planned to finally tie the knot next year. The problem is this is that this is the 3rd time that i have caught him smoking pot behind my back and him lying to me about it. I'm really upset about this. I told him he has a choice to either be part of this family or to smoke pot without us. He just keeps throwing in my face that when we met, we used to do it all time, and have fun and now that i am up tight and over reacting, and that this is the person who he is, and i can't change that. I am over reacting?, i just don't want drugs to be part of my family. I'm totally lost on how to handle this situation. Me telling him no doesn't work. i don't know what to do


Asked by ashjacks4 at 11:28 PM on Aug. 24, 2009 in Relationships

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This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Sometimes we outgrow our partner when we are with them so young. It's possible you will have to make a serious decision soon.

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:03 AM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • You may just have to face the fact that he is a drug addict. You sound exactly like my ex husband and myself. I was with him for 7 years and we partied together. Then came our dd. I quit and he said he would. But all he really did was sneak around behind my back to do it. You kind have to look at it like this if he is taking money that could go towards your family to but pot then he isnt really looking out for your family. Just on a hunch does he hold down a job? Probably not and it will only get worse. Everybody is starting to drug test which makes it harder to smoke a little pot and get away with it.

    Answer by treynlisa at 11:36 PM on Aug. 24, 2009

  • He actually is a very successful business man, he owns his own cabinet shop. I just don't know if i can ever trust him again, or not hold a grudge or hold it against him.

    Answer by ashjacks4 at 9:01 AM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • You answered your own question. You told him either he stays clean with you or smokes without you. The choice is his now. What was done in the past is the past and like you said, yall have grown up now.

    Answer by keisha613 at 9:19 AM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • Do you drink? Is what he is doing really that bad? As long as it's not around you or the child, or while he is caring for the child? Just and opposite idea. i don't necessarily agree with my own post, just wanted to provoke thought.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:20 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • i mean i don't go out and party and get drunk... but i will have a drink now and then.. i don't him having drink. I feel if i let to happen sometimes, it will open the door for it will happen more and more. I really don't know if it is "that bad" i don't know why i am getting soo upset about it. I just know that i don't want my daughter to grow up with a pothead for a father

    Answer by ashjacks4 at 5:30 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • sorry* i don't mind if he has a drink every once and a while

    Answer by ashjacks4 at 5:31 PM on Aug. 25, 2009