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Why am I like this?

I let my boyfriend run all over me sometimes. He can be so rude to me at times, then other times he's just so funny and nice. I'm afraid to say some things around him though because he gets set off so easily about certain things. He does hurt my feelings sometimes, by just being mean. I know what you are thinking, that I must be young or crazy to put up with something like that, but I'm almost 31 years old. I'm just afraid that I won't find anyone else, so it's either put up with this or be alone. To be honest, I'm tired of being alone. I was married for 5 years, but alone in the marriage, I know who I am, I don't need time to "find" myself, I've had plenty of time to do that, I just want to be happy and in a normal relationship. I don't know if I should stay with him and see if it works out or what???!!!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:31 AM on Aug. 25, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • You know the truth about your situation and you know what you should do, it's hard but you have to make that decision and do what's best for You and Your Children, he's just a stepping stone in your life, there are good men out there, understanding ones.

    Answer by MommaRox4683 at 8:36 AM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • You are not in a "normal" relationship now. Normal relationships don't consist of a man like yours.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:39 AM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • You need to get away from this guy. It would be far better to be alone for the rest of your life than to have to live in fear and intimidation by a man who only wants to use and control you for his own purposes. The things that you are seeing in him are character flaws, and those very seldom change. The only way they will change is if somehow this guy becomes disgusted with himself and sees who he really is. You can love him from now until the day you die, and you will never have one iota of power to change him into anything other than who he is. Having no man is far better than having just any man. See yourself as a person of worth and value and know that you do not have to settle for being treated so degradingly. When you begin to love yourself properly, you will then attract those who will also love you properly. Until then, you will continue to attract the same kind of men over and over again. Learn to love you!!!

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:45 AM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • Yeah it sucks being alone but its worth it if you leave him and find someone who is the best person for you. 31 is not old and you'll be just fine finding someone to give you the relationship you really want and deserve.

    Answer by keisha613 at 9:03 AM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • We stay with men like that bc we have low self esteem. Mine is a narcissist and demands his own way. That's fine by me ....sometimes. I do have to stay away from certain subjects to avoid setting him off. I have to watch my tone and attitude as well. I've learned to do these things pretty well but it takes a lot of work on my part. Sometimes I need a break just to relax. Is he worth the stress? For me, right now, yes he is but I have no desire to marrry him or even live with him. I guess it depends on what you want. If you are thinking marriage or live-in I think he would drain you quickly. Is that how you think you can live? If so, stick with him. If not then find someone else for long term and maybe keep him as a friend. Mine won't be friends so I have to deal with this now as is.

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:50 AM on Aug. 25, 2009

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