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What's your take on this?

My husband has the theory that it doesn't matter if I cheat on him because I will always come back to him. So if I say some guy or girl is hot he says to go for it and he'll be home when I get home. Of course I have never done such a thing. And I know he hasn't either mostly because he has no time to (work is hell for him).

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:39 AM on Aug. 25, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • I would hope that he's kidding, because otherwise he thinks very little of you and what your intentions toward your marriage are. And I would hope you would never take him up on such an offer, as it would only cause a rift, however big or small it may be, between the two of you, even though he said, "he'd be home when you get home."

    Answer by mom2BOYZnDad at 9:46 AM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • I would feel like he really didnt care about me. Maybe he is kidding or doesnt think he deserves someone to himself. Maybe he doesnt really trust so he is preparing him self for the worst, he is coming across as confident when he i really insecure.

    Those are just guesses, but regardless of his reason why I wouldnt like it. I think a man should love you and not want to share you with anyone else.

    Answer by ria7 at 9:46 AM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • I wrote an answer, then deleted it, but on reading the above very good answers which are close to my own thoughts, I'll rewrite and post my answer.

    First of all I commented that his ideas about marriage are different from my own, and that I saw 2 possibilities, both of which may well be totally off base.

    1. He wants to keep his own options open.
    2. He believes that you might play around and is trying to save face by pretending to be fine with it.

    There is a third

    3. Maybe he doesn't want you to play around, but he is telling you that his love for you is so strong that no matter what you do that he'd still love you and be there for you. (However, despite his assurances, I wouldn't count on his actual reaction being what he said, he may have been speaking poetically and not meaning exactly what his words said.)

    Answer by Bmat at 9:58 AM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • He sounds like my SO. They have such confidence in themselves that they don't worry about other men. As a matter of fact my SO gets excited about the thought of me being with someone else. I watched a movie about that one time, where some famous author had this fetish about wanting other men to lust after his wife. Who knows why they feel this way but it's all good. You have a secure marriage. Nothing wrong with that.

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:22 AM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • I agree with a lot of the PP. It sounds like he doesn't care enough about you to want you all to him self. OR he is preparing him self for what he thinks is the inevitable. Either way, it doesn't sound to me that "You have a secure marriage." There is something DEFINITELY wrong with that!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:51 AM on Aug. 25, 2009

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