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Am I crazy for feeling this way?????

My DH has decided to move out and I feel like I can accept his decision because we've had some tough times during our marriage and even more since I found out that he had an affair & Im just drained, I guess! We have 2 kids DD 9 & DS 6 and this is why Im hurting more than anything else and confused; I just dont want them to hurt because of bad choices/decision/actions that the adults, the people that are suppose to care for them have made. So I am trying to be civil and "normal" with my DH and be ok with everything until he moves out and even after his out but I wake up everyday thnking am I in denial of everything that is happening or is this normal? Please help me out in providing advise in how to keep my mind & soul as clear as possible so that I can make the right decision for my kids. I still love my DH very much but he just doesnt feel the same & I cant force him. Im hurting but dont want my kids to go through that pain.

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:24 AM on Aug. 25, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (3)
  • I don't think you are crazy at all, I think it's a totally normal way to feel right now. It sounds like you have your children's best interest at heart and thats the way it should be. You can't force someone to love you and no matter how much it hurts you just have to let them go. You will be fine, stray strong for your children and in time a good man will come along and sweep you off your feet. You deserve only the best! Good luck hun!

    Answer by jillisue808 at 10:26 AM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • I am sorry ((hugs)).

    Be careful to never bad-mouth their dad to the children. Assure them that it is never the fault of the children when this happens- wording it like this tells them not only that it isn't their fault, but also that it happens to other children also, so that they don't think for a second that they are the only ones (not something wrong with them.) You may want them to get some counseling to make sure they come through this smoothly- check with their pediatrician.

    You are amazing to have the determination to be civil. Good for you. If you have a religious adviser you may want to talk with him or her. Or counseling for you might help.

    May I also suggest that you consult a lawyer immediately - the lawyer will tell you what you need to do to protect your and the children's interests. Do it right away in case there are things you need to do today.

    Answer by Bmat at 10:32 AM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • You can't be in denial if you are grieving. Denial is a defense mechanism to protect yourself and to keep from seeing the truth which would cause grieving. Separations are not a bad thing. Many times they help us work things out bc we can see things clearly and have time to think. Don't grieve over losing something that may not be lost. It may just be taking a vacation and will return better than ever. Just take one day at a time and remember to exhale.

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:33 AM on Aug. 25, 2009

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