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scared to have sex now. please help somebody

about a year ago my husband and i were celebrating our one year ann. we went camping. well later in the night we were having sex (doggy position) when he slipped out and it went into my bum. it hurt so bad. on top of that when my husband got up to turn on the light we had also noticed that i had started my period. there was blood everywhere. i was in so much pain i couldnt stop crying. now anytime we have sex im cant relax. and if his penis come anywhere close to my bum i immediiatly stop and start crying again. please need some advice.

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tattooursoul

Asked by tattooursoul at 1:12 PM on Aug. 25, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Try a psychiatist. Sounds like it's in your head.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:13 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • What you are feeling is so normal! Somehow you need to process it. DH got the tip in once, I stopped him, it was an accident. It took me a long time to get over it. Maybe it would help it you did positions where u were more in control. Like u on top.
    Now if back when this happened he did it and then didn't stop once he realized what was going on well then you were raped. You deffinantly need theorpy to help you process and heal from that.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:20 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • Either don't do it doggy style for a while bc it's easy for that to happen that way or just tell him to go slow and make sure he's got the right hole. I usually use humor and if that happens I ask SO if he needs a map. LOL
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:31 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • you have post tramatic stress and should talk to a real cousilor about it.
    AmaliaD

    Answer by AmaliaD at 1:36 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • Why not try to overcome your fear. Doing it Bum style can be very pleasing. Start slow, maybe let your hubby or yourself begin with a finger or small toy. A nd hee hee a couple cocktails to take the edge off never hurts:) I know some are probably thinking this is nasty, but the alternative is her being frightened. As long as you take it very slow and make sure a lot of lubrication is used, there is also a numbing creme that helps. You might be surprised at the good time that awaits you. Turn this into a spicy new adventure you and your husband can work on achieving,
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:29 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • I had a problem like that with my DH at one point.
    all of a sudden he didn't seem to know where it went- caused me fishers and all kinds of problems.
    So finally I told him that he was too old for me to have to show him where it goes, so he needed to figure out a way to be more careful, or there would be no more.
    He did get more careful and sex is much better.
    But it does sound like you are understandably upset about all this.
    Maybe if you just made a agreement to not have sex for a while and do other things in bed, taking it very slowly. you may even discover some new romance.
    But I would find someone to discuss this with if it's at all possible.
    good luck
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:05 AM on Aug. 26, 2009

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