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having a little doubt....

my fiance' has been sick for a while he is in extreme pain as a result of his conditions. He also cannot work because of this and he has always been a work horse. he takes a lot of pain meds and is trying to wean himself off them because he does not want to be dependent on them, so needless to say he can be VERY irritable. But I love him and understand the irritableness so its just a rollercoaster I have to ride. I think though that he is very depressed and misses working and his work friends....because now if there is no attention from anyone else just us at home, he is in bed all day complaining abt pain and poppin pain meds, the moment he gets messages/txts, invites to meet friends he is running out the door and all better. My doubt is that his pain is real and more subconscience because he can't work. I have been there everyday through all of this and kind of feel used a little.

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Asked by Anonymous at 3:17 PM on Aug. 25, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (3)
  • Just stop doing for him. You're there giving him sympathy so he's gonna play it up strong. If he were as sick as he claims then he couldn't go barring with the buds. Twice a week say sweetie i'm going out, be back later.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:20 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • First off, you have to pat yourself on the back because it takes alot of patience and energy from you to get thru day by day as well~I'm sure you have addressed the problem w/ him directly so all I can think is maybe he feels better going out because it gives him something to do to keep his mind occupied enough to get thru the pain he is feeling. Sometimes "friends" can comfort us in way loved ones cannot. It is not anything that we have done wrong, but I know that when my husband comes home from a bad day at work, no one puts a smile on his face the way his buddy does...and I have learned to be thankful because having him smile is way better than the grump. If his friends can get him thru this and motivate him to do better, stand by him, but allow them to help. Think of it as "team spirit" and let him have that space. He may feel better when he comes home to have more useful quality time w/ you....hang in there!!

    Answer by jessemo6 at 3:23 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • OMG I am so sorry you are going through this too I am going through similar....its really hard!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:37 AM on Sep. 21, 2009

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