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Mom thinks I go out too much? What do you think?

Going through a divorce right now so I'm a single mom living with my mom again. I'm almost 22 with a 16 month old daughter. I like to go out once every weekend and very occasionally once during the week. My mom keeps getting after me saying that when she raised us she didnt get to go out that often, however she was only a single mom for a short time when she had my sister, then didnt become a single mom again til I was about 12 so she can't totally understand how hard it is for me to have my daughter all week long 24/7 and never get to go anywhere. When go out I hang with my friends, I dont drink most of the time, only occasionally. She keeps telling me not to let my soon to be ex have my daughter on the weekends (she doesnt care for him obviously) and yet she complains about babysitting half the time. So either I sit at home doing nothing all the time (looking for a job currently) or i go out once a week to destress.

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Asked by stargazerwolf at 4:41 PM on Aug. 25, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 9 (370 Credits)
Answers (100)
  • once a week doesnt seem to bad to me if you are spending plenty of time with your dd during the other times and taking care of what you need to do.

    Answer by ria7 at 4:42 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • im 22 and i have a 3 month old son, i just broke up with my ex recently so im a single mom now too, i have no job but i will be back in school in september. my mom watches him 2 or 3 nights a week for me so that i can catch up on sleep and go out with my friends. i usually have some drinks when i go out with my friends. i need some time to myself, and to interact socially with people my age. plus she likes to spend time with her grandson. she just asks me not to go out until 5 in the morning like i was for a while because she has to bring him to me in the morning so she can go to work and she likes me to be able to be awake and happy when she drops him off, not tired and hungover.

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 4:43 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • Go out, you deserve it. But be responsible about it so your Mom isn't so annoyed. If you help to pay your way that will lessen the affect on Mom. Moms are all the same. You had a kid before you got your life together with a career and being self-sustaining. She probably doesnt' appreciate your freedom.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:44 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • doesn't seem too bad. BUt you may want to be another baby sitter, or do things you can take your child with. My friends and I do something most weekends and they help me watch her or take her for a few hours for me.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:46 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • to me personally it is too much. My feeling is that once you become a mommy/daddy/parent all of that sort of stuff becomes a once in awhile thing...once a month at the most for me time. But I certainly wouldn't spend it at a bar.

    Answer by mamakirs at 4:46 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • I was a single mom for a year when my son was born and never got to go out till I met my present SO, who I've been with for 2 years and even now I'm 19 I work part time got to school full time and never get to go out, maybe once a month if I'm lucky. I guess if you have the opportunity, take it.

    Answer by NicholeAT at 4:50 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • once a month... and not at a bar.. wow snoooze i did not know having a baby meant losing your life??? im 27 we go out every friday night w/o baby may it just be dinner and a glass or 2 of wine or playing pool at a pool hall, and guess what im a great mother even better i think cause i have a weekly release from a baby, im sorry my life changes greatly with a child yes. and i love that but my life i had before does NOT come to a complete end.. if it does you will begin to not be happy

    Answer by peytonJJ27 at 4:50 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • So if its not at a bar then its a snooze? I would have to agree with MamaKirs there are other places to spend your time.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:01 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • his sounds like my mom, I am not a single mother but my mom flips out when I go out. She can call and ask what am I doing and I say "going out" and she says "oh where yall goin this time of night" and I tell her no I am goin with friends and she flips and hangs up on me..but I can care less I don't live under her roof.

    Answer by effie777 at 5:01 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • How can you afford to go out every weekend and once during the week if you can't afford to hire someone else to babysit? How can you afford to go out without a job? And sorry, but I had my daughter at 22, was left at home for a solid year from my husband deploying to Iraq, and I survived without burdening anyone else. Your number one priority changed from you to that baby when you decided to have her. It's the glamorous life of a mother. Live with it and don't burden your mom with raising your kid for half the month.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:06 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

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