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Out of control teen!

I have a friend who has a 14 year old that the school councelors believe is depressive. She is completely out of control and disrespectful. She will not listen to her mother, swears at her and her siblings, and is threatening to kill herself if she does not get what she wants. Her mom is very concerned for her well being and her future but just doesn't know what to do. She doesn't want to see her daughter turn into a druggie, preggo teen, or in jail. What can she / should she do ?

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MommyTails

Asked by MommyTails at 5:51 PM on Aug. 25, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • well obviously counseling, of course... she may need a mild mood elevator
    hibbingmom

    Answer by hibbingmom at 5:53 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • She should have the girl in counseling, and the family in family-therapy
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 5:54 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • Have her bring her daughter into talk to someone. I brought my 16yr old in and it did help, if her daughter fights it tell her to stick with it. There are so many reasons a teen can be like that and the sooner you nip it in the bud the better.
    smokeyblues

    Answer by smokeyblues at 5:55 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • my DH have our own beliefs about teenagers becoming spoiled and rotten and out of control.
    if in the unlikely event things got that out of control in my house.... and assuming my child went to public school (we're most likely homeschooling) I would:

    goto kmart and buy a few pairs of plain and/or ugly over sized sweats and replace teens clothing with them. anything special like ipod, cell, cash, playstation would be locked in trunk of my car.

    every single day there was obediance and a good report from school they could have back 1 thing of their choosing.... be it big (phone) or small (real jeans)

    no piercings, hair products other than shampoo and a hairtie, etc etc etc. back to basics, boot camp style.
    hibbingmom

    Answer by hibbingmom at 5:56 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • Very, very few families would ever do that though. Too much work for the momma.

    And assuming they maybe have a little bit of sick time avail. at work, considering pulling her out of school for a time.
    therapy
    counseling
    soup kitchen
    habitat for humanity
    pen pal to a soldier
    a yoga class
    busy busy day.
    hibbingmom

    Answer by hibbingmom at 5:58 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • i think most kids have WAY too much time on their hands.... just because they aren't toddlers any more doesnt mean they dont crave and need structure, routine, and things to burn off steam & energy.

    A dance class maybe, art class, yoga, swimming, gymnastics.... an outlet..... and then of course there's church groups and whatnot.

    it's so much easier to let them turn preggo, druggies, and goto jail than it is to gut their rooms, put the smack down and save them
    hibbingmom

    Answer by hibbingmom at 6:01 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • oh and DUH! the suicide potential or threat..... her bedroom door should have been off the day she said that...... for safety purposes.
    hibbingmom

    Answer by hibbingmom at 6:07 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • i was that girl!! my mom tried EVERYTHING. she put me in a group homes, in psychiatric hospitals, in counseling, punished me, sent me to live with my dad, etc. etc. nothing worked. it started when i was 13, and by the time i was 18, i just grew out of it.. now im 22, i have my associates degree and going to my next school, a beautiful son, and a great life and an amazing relationship with my mom. growing up is tough for some of us. GL to her & her daughter.
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 6:56 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • Thank you all for your responces. I called to tell them to her only to find out that her daughter ran away from home shortly posting. The mom is dropping off one of her kids at the school for some meet the teacher thing and will then be calling the cops about her run away and seeing about having her commited. I wish her luck as well, and am quite happy that it isn't me actually dealing with it.
    MommyTails

    Answer by MommyTails at 7:01 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • Sounds to me like this is a perfect example for why we should swat those legs when they are little and pitch that temper tantrum. They turn out to be big kids pitching temper tantrums who curse and make threats but it's too late to swat those legs now.

    jesse123456

    Answer by jesse123456 at 9:22 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

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