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How do I help my obese stepkids when their mom doesn't care?

I have 2 stepchildren. Boy age 7 weighs 100lbs and Girl age 5 weighs 65lbs. My husband has spoke to his ex about their weight issues and she just ignores him. We don't know what to do. We fear of all the negatives that kids are and will face both mentally and physically. We got the kids for 2 weeks this summer. As a family, we ALL went for a walk after breakfast, cut down on sugar, had 3 snacks a day(fruit/veg), and 3 meals. There was no soda or fried foods. After the kids returned to their moms, my husband and myself were accused of abusing the kids. The charges were excessive excercising, not feeding them, physical abuse, and mental abuse by calling them fat and saying they were going to die. The state through all of these charges out. OFCOURSE non of it was true. The social worker actually rolled her eyes when she entered our home to inspect. As she left she apologized 4 the inconveinence. ANY ADVICE????

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 6:37 PM on Aug. 25, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (12)
  • well, unless your going to try and get custody of the kids, how can you make the mom feed them healthy and exercise with them if she doesnt care? maybe you should go for custody! them being obese may be a good case.

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 6:44 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • Take them to a doctor to be examined. Have that on file and it could help build your case fon her for neglect

    Answer by Jademom07 at 6:47 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • I agree with Jademom07!! Get her ass for neglect and you can save their lives! But are you ready for the responsibility? A life time is different than 2 weeks in the summer. Be careful what you ask for.

    Answer by forevermom75 at 7:03 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • I agree with all the moms on here...

    My skids eat crap all the time....they eat out and fast food all week long..

    I do what I do in my own home, I can not control what there mother does but I can control
    what goes on in my own home..

    I would keep doing what you are doing and explain to them that it is healthy and good for them.

    good luck

    Answer by Dannee at 9:46 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • I would be fighting for custody of those kids and then keep doing what you did for the 2 weeks you had them. Just keep teaching them healthy eating habits, but also let them have treats on occasion. Keep up your healthy eating and exercising plan and wish for the best. Play kickball, baseball, going for walks. Make the exercise fun and have the kids help make meals when they are with you.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:23 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • *keep your opinions to yourself

    *do not say anything negative about the mother

     *just feed them healthy foods and exercise as a family, maybe do games and whatnot instead of traditional exercise.

     *to help them learn about good foods involve them in the shopping, cooking and planning of the meals and snacks.....

    I know my SS's mother only bought and 'cooked' foods that were microwaved. Until I came along he never had a skinless boneless breast of chicken.....some people just don't get it


    Answer by justgrape723 at 10:49 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • Leave the kids alone.

    Answer by missvendetta at 1:40 AM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • Just keep offering them healthy choices and a healthy lifestyle when they are with you. As they get older and more conscious of body image they may be appreciative of what you are doing, but at their ages all they see is that you're making them give up tasty food - so I can see their side of it. It would be ideal if the bio mom would go along with a healthy lifestyle at least for the sake of the kids, but evidently that isn't going to happen.

    Answer by missanc at 8:47 AM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • Take them to a doctor.
    Get a lawyer and sue for custody.
    Call CPS on her for child endangerment.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:42 PM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • not all Doctors will recommend or push weight loss for kids. Sometimes it does more harm than good. I don't think CPS would get involved for that amount of weight either. They may come back with ....'well at least she is feeding them" There is no rule or law that states she has to feed them healthy food. as long as they are being fed the Gov/CPS could care less. They are already so overwhelmed with kids who are being burned, molested, and raped that kids who eat at McDonald's every night just isn't high on their list....


    Answer by Anonymous at 2:18 PM on Aug. 26, 2009

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