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how do you tell your mother you don't like her boyfriend?

she has been with this dude for over two years he still hasn't told her he loves her! he does live with her and often when she fixes dinner he will make her take him to get something to eat at a fastfood restraunt to refrain from eating her food. He will only buy his food and lets her and the kids (17 year old son and 11 year old daughter, MY siblings) eat what she fixed. He is 10 years younger than her (not that age really matters but he is only 7 years older than me. This guy has made no attempt to connect with the family and will rarely say a word to you. my siblings who do live in the house hold don't hold too much fondness for this guy either. What should I do tell her get a grip and find a real man who will treat you right, or let her make yet another mistake with a man? What would you do?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:52 PM on Aug. 25, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • You can live her life for her. I know he's a looser. I hate that! My mom did the same thing for 14 years! Just agree with everything and be really positive about him, maybe she'll see he's not that great.
    forevermom75

    Answer by forevermom75 at 6:55 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • "MOM, I don't like ___ and this is why ____" then let it go and let her live her life.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 6:57 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • Just tell her.... I'm in the same situation I tell my Mom all the time she just doesn't listen. It's her fault if she stays, she's the one getting hurt .

    ZachsMom325

    Answer by ZachsMom325 at 7:00 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • You can tell her how you feel, but she won't listen to you or even take your advice. You can't make her choices for her....they may be wrong but they are hers to make.
    robinann5

    Answer by robinann5 at 7:03 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • This is the same problem you will have later when your kids start dating. After a certain point, you really can't say too much. You might ask how she feels about issues like the food, but if you say too much and she stays with him, you may drive a wedge between you and your mom. And, if she tells him you don't like him, he may help to drive that wedge.

    My dad had a relationship with a woman that was nothing but trouble. She alienated him from his brothers and sisters, us kids, all of his friends. She actually tried to kill him several times, cheated on him, did cruel things to my youngest brother...well to all of us, and he just made excuses for her, and stayed with her for over 20 years. A lot of that time I didn't have a relationship with him by choice.

    If this guy is just a bum, but not dangerous, I'd tread carefully, you don't want to lose your mom.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 7:03 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • I don't like my moms husband, and she knows it, but we have an open relationship where we can come to each other about anything. Just have a heart to heart let her know how and why you feel the way you do, that you love her and thinks she may be getting hurt and it's affecting you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:18 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • As an older mom I'll suggest you stay out of it. Your mom is a grown woman and knows what she likes. I've heard we all stay in relationships bc there is a payoff. She's obviously getting a pay off somewhere or she'd cut him loose. You can voice your opinion but it's probably best you don't tell her what to do. It's her decision. My daughters don't like how SO treats me sometimes (he's a BIT selfish and a jerk sometimes) but neither one would ever tell me to leave him. When your mom gets tired of his crap she will get rid of him. Some women are afraid of being alone. Maybe she won't let go of him until she finds someone to replace him. Introduce her to nice guys.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:15 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • tell her you don't like him and if she wants to know why, then it will give you a chance to open up communications.
    LadyAronna

    Answer by LadyAronna at 10:15 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

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