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Do you ask your child

if they are stupid?
My SIL does then when her DD is being difficult and she's frustrated.
It really bothers me, its as bad as calling her stupid IMO.


Asked by Anonymous at 7:59 PM on Aug. 25, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • No I don't! I believe at a young age they don't understand the difference from you asking them if their stupid and telling them that they are stupid. They just don't understand that. I would never do that. And I can totally see why it would bother you.

    Answer by Haynes_mommy at 8:02 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • That is horrible!

    Answer by outstandingLove at 8:05 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • No, IMO this is the same as calling them stupid! It is degrading to them, and will hurt their self esteem.

    Answer by robinann5 at 8:40 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • I think that's aweful. My husband said that once to my 4 year old and I flipped out on him! It's just not right.

    Answer by ginger813 at 10:01 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • LOL!! I have a 13 yr old and I ask him that question all the time. He does some of the dumbest things I have ever seen. I would NEVER day it to younger child though. That is just plain mean.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:09 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • There are times I will say to my kids (15 yrs and 16 yrs) things like "____ was a pretty stupid thing to do" - that sort of thing. BUT - when I say it, it's a really bone head thing they've done, AND, they know - without a doubt, that I think they're smart people. I give lots of positive re-enforcement, etc. Also, calling each other stupid / idiot, etc in a mean or serious way is NOT allowed at our house.

    However - lol - once when my dd was about 5, my dh caught her walking along this narrow strip of counter (a couple of inches wide), high up, with her arms stuck out. Without thinking, as he snatched her down, he said "have you lost your mind?!" (he was scared by this). Her response was to look him in the eye and very calmly say "yes". LOL - all he could say was "Well, you need to go find it!"

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 1:20 AM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • btw - example of telling them that was a stupid thing to do - about a year ago, they were messing around with a soccer ball in the living / dining room. Which they KNEW wasn't allowed - and they broke something very special to me. Instead of telling me they broke it, they hid it in one of their rooms and was going to try to glue it together. When my dh (who heard the crash) called out to them and said what happened - it sounds like something got broke" they said "nothing happened - it's ok".

    They don't usually do this sort of thing, and when they got caught, I did tell them it was a really stupid thing to do, because not only did they break the rules and then break the tea cup, they also lied about it, making us wonder if we could trust them to tell us the truth.

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 1:24 AM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • NO WAY!! We do not say the "s" word in our house- ever! I may tell her that she made a bad choice? I don't even say she is being bad- just making a bad choice

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:18 AM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • NO!! I think that is emotional abuse. That is horrible.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:18 AM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • WOW that is terrible! My MIL used to say that to my hub....

    Answer by morethanme_you at 11:14 AM on Aug. 26, 2009