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TAKE CARE OF YOUR KIDS!!! What would you say?

Okay, So I have this friend..well actually she is my "best friend" She ttc for a while, before she got pregnant. Now she has a 1 year old baby girl. She lives with her Boyfriend, his parents and the baby. She NEVER takes care of her, financially, emotionally ect. Literally, her Bf's parents have her 24/7. Some times, his mom will bring her to my friend, and she keeps her for 5 mins, and takes her back into the living room....She even puts up a fence to keep her out of her room! She wines and bitches about the baby calling her gma, mama..........but do you blame her? She bitches that she cant watch her baby over there (but wont look for a job, or move!) I try n be nice and tell her if she dont get a job, and move out.....she is going to lose BIG time with the baby! She will have no bond, and the relationship will be permantly damaged! She even said she wanted to get pregnant again for a boy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ...........cont

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:05 PM on Aug. 25, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (11)
  • What would you say to your friend to be nice? BUT still get your point across. DONT SAY MIND YOUR OWN BUIS, BECAUSE I AM! She asks me for help! and BRINGS ME INTO THE TOPIC!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:06 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • They are enabling her to act that way it sounds.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:07 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • OP......They arent going to kick them out, because they know what would happen with the baby....also, the grandma is disabled from a BAD car accident, 14 years ago. It really FRUSTRATES ME! This is half vent half question......Do any of you have friends like that?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:10 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • Have an intervention with everyone involved. We had to do that with my b'fs sister, her husband was in Iraq, and she moved out of her sisters place because she was pregnant and they just didn't have the space for another baby. WE had the intervention after she fed him a few oyster crackers and just 1-2 cups of juice for a while day, and left him in a dirty diaper for hours. What really scared us was the new baby on the way. She does a lot better with him now (the new baby died, NOT her fault in any way, I was even there when it happened, sad story, and the baby was born really sick too, so NOT her fault), I think the intervention helped at least some, she's not mother of the year, but she at least meets his physical needs now. I try to read to him a lot, and do things with him, but she is doing a lot better.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:28 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • my friend is like that, her boy is two doesnt say a word and sits in a play pen all day , he doesnt even try and get out cause hes been in it his WHOLE life! but all she does is complain that he doesnt talk, and that he doesnt even want to be around her, and seems like hes attatched to my hip when i finally get her out of the house with him. . . i dont say anything there isnt much i can do..... she doesnt care enough to listen to me. and my cousin, she has two kids, the first one she was doing really good with him, then her second boy came along and i dont know what happened but she leaves the baby in the living room between two couches with an otoman pushed in front so he cant get out, and he stays there all day while shes outside or in the kitchen, he has no toys, no drink, no nothing, not even tv, which i mean atleast the tv would let him hear someone speaking or give him something to entertain himself, cause he just cont.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:31 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • sits there and stares at the wall when someone walks by he tries to get their attention like hey get me out of here play with me pay attention to me but she doesnt. and he calls his gma mama, she gets mad and spanks him, she used to, im pretty sure her mom is trying to get custody.(i recently moved out of state so not as much contact) so thank goodness someone is doing something! its sad, why do people have kids if they dont really want them?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:34 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • My "friend" ( who is my best friends cousin) ..moved into their grandpas house (next door to my best friend) ... She got custody back of her 3 year old ( the dad had her all this time )...at first she seemed to be a grat mother and we were all happy that she got her back. Well after about a month she started leaving her with my bff and me, constantly, wouldnt pic her up when she said....and she would let her wear dirty clothes...I gave her a whole bunch of my daughters clothes...and then she would let her wear them for x amount of days in a row, and then when it started to get warmer out, she would still be wearing her winter clothes ( she was wearing snow boots and sweats in 85 degree weather) ...she had a job, got child support, plus money for going to school. She would spend it all on her boyfriend. Who she purposly got pregnant by, she then lost her job ( from not going ) and her bf left her, she she didnt support him ....
    glamomomo

    Answer by glamomomo at 9:57 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • * continued* .... she didnt clean or pay anything at her g-pas house...she was a huge slob and ate all his food.....finally my friend went and told her that she need to stop being so nasty, get a job, and move out ....or else we were going to go to court on the fathers side and make sure he gets custody,a nd make sure they take the new baby away.....being straight with her, must of made her undstand because she did move out and got another job, within a few weeks ! And she seems to be doing better with her daughter ( she hasnt had the other baby yet )
    glamomomo

    Answer by glamomomo at 10:00 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • If she has asked you for help, then I would be honest...brutally so. Tell her she is being a horrible mother and that she needs to get off her ass and BE a mother or she be worth nothing to the child and will most likely lose the child permanently. If she asked, then don't worry about nice....she asked, she opened the door, BE BRUTALLY HONEST WITH HER. She is asking for help, sometimes it take a shock to bring them out of their "oh woe is me" stage, which is what is sounds like she is in. You also said you have told her nicely some of the things she needs to do and some of the consequences. Nice didn't do it, so tell her outright. For the sake of that child, it sounds like the time for nicey nicey is over.
    Eco-Mother

    Answer by Eco-Mother at 10:05 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • Why are so many answers anonymous? be brave and use your screen name-who cares what people who you will never meet think about you?
    missvendetta

    Answer by missvendetta at 1:32 AM on Aug. 26, 2009

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