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Now I am not comfortable going on vacation...

My (mean) MIL is coming to live here for a while. NOT by my choice. Anyway, I asked before and got great advise so I have decided it probably is not the best idea to go on vacation with my daughter while she is here. She would have total control over MY house and home she could entrench herself. Now I am upset that I am not going. I had 2 months planned to be gone. An amazing trip for us to New Zealand, Australia and Fiji. I am starting to dis-like her even more and she is not even here yet! How am I going to get through this??? I do not even know for sure how long she will be here!


Asked by Noosa at 10:51 PM on Aug. 25, 2009 in Relationships

Level 20 (8,483 Credits)
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Answers (6)
  • OH - lol - one other thing - you could also try something like this... I admit, this wasn't my nicest or most mature moment, but I was provoked by a very nosy lady who was married to my dh's supervisor at the time who would always come to my house (we lived near each other) and snoop in my things - reading letters, going snooping in cabinets, etc. (I would be writing a letter, she would come over, I would put it away, the baby would wake up, I would go get him and catch her putting the letter away, or find it moved from where I had put it when she left, that sort of thing.)

    I wrote little notes and left them in medicine cabinets, etc - you could do dresser drawers, etc. That simply said, in big letters "DON'T BE NOSY!!! " If she doesn't snoop, she won't see them, and won't be offended ;-)

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 11:08 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • oh hell no. Don't stop your plans bc of her. Live your life and enjoy the trip. You can hate her from a distance while traveling just as well as you can being in the same house with her. Just put up all your personal things before you go so she won't be reading your diary or bank book!

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:59 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • I do not see why you cannot go on vacation. Put away everything important and go!

    Answer by FL2AK at 11:03 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • GO! You don't want to give her that much control over your life, and as far as getting "entrenched" in your home - well, then, if she does that, just UN entrench her when you get back.

    You can also start to set the tone by saying something like "It's really nice of you to house sit for us while we're gone. It's good to know that you can take a vacation and know that you have family here, making sure everything's the same and ready for you when you get back." That sort of stuff.

    Also, if she's your mil, then your dh should be saying to her "Mom, I know you like to manage things, and that you have very definite ideas about how things should be / should be handled. But, we need to be clear about this - this is my home and my wife's home, and you are NOT to make any changes while we're gone. If you do, then when we get back, I'm afraid you're going to have to find a new place to live."


    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 11:05 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • GO. You won't be there to deal with her taking over, you won't see so it won't infuriate you. When you get back you can gear up for tossing her out. Set ground rules for her and when you return and she's broken them she's out. Anyway, you'll have a house sitter which is great. Go and don't let her spoil your plans.

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 11:09 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • Go and don't worry about her when you're gone. IDK how well you know her, but it's even possible if she does make some changes to the house that you'll actually like the changes she's made! She's your DH's mother, and I would like to assume she has his-and your- best intentions at heart.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:46 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

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