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Can a marriage work, even after an affair? Such as a one night stand? I don't know what to do.. found out he cheated on me a year ago, supposedly only once..

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:47 PM on Aug. 25, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • obviously he doesnt love you if hes not being faithful sorry to say but once a cheater always a cheater...just my opinion
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:48 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • Hope things get better. If it was once a year ago, let it go, if you love him....
    bella69147

    Answer by bella69147 at 11:50 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • I think a marriage can work after an affair, but it's very difficult....as your own question shows, you don't trust him now, you're not sure he's told you the whole truth. I think it's always worth trying. If at all possible get marriage counseling. If you go to a church, your pastor may be able to provide affordable counseling. He may be telling the truth. Did he confess on his own, did you find out another way? My heart is with you.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 11:51 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • I found out myself by reading his chat logs between him and his friend. He was asking the friend to cover up for him. I was away for a long time with family because of health reasons..
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:54 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • yes it can work. It can also grow stronger if he is remorseful and doesn't do it again. It's up to you. There are some websites, books and even CM groups for support
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:55 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • For me..I was cheated on and everytime they are late it makes you wonder if they are with another girl...it is hard to forgive after they cheated on you. They dont love you when they are sleeping with someone else. That is my opinion
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:58 PM on Aug. 25, 2009

  • It can work, but it's very hard. It's going to take a long time for you to trust him again, and his attitude towards you when you question him may be very telling in whether or not it will work.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 8:03 AM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • Definitely, it can still work... I am married for 28 years, but I was cheated the last three years of my marriage. My husband lived with another woman for three long years whom he had 2 kids. I tried to hold on and live up to the Lord' decision. I waited around three years until finally he made his mind to come back to us. I spent these empty years with my children, we went to Dubai and work as an alternative to the situation.

    I want to thank my children joining me on this journey and finally, we are a comple happy family. So, there's no impossible as long as you believe that God will do the rest.

    Erlyn Santillan
    erlyn1957

    Answer by erlyn1957 at 9:15 AM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • Sex and love are not one in the same. A marriage can work, but it will take a lot of effort on your part as well as his. If you were away for a long time due to health reasons and he faltered once out of missing you, drinking, being found desirable by another or a combination of all that and more, it is understandable that it could happen. I do NOT condone it, but it is easy to see that it could. If he feels guilty about it, that is a good step as well. You do have hope. If he didn't still love you, he wouldn't feel guilty or care that you know. You should seek counseling, and talk about it honestly. Don't hang it over him though. I was the cheater in my last marriage, I confessed it. I was willing to make amends and work through our issues. My ex turned me into a paranoid freak. I couldn't even take a shower unless he was home so he knew I hadn't showered to cover up. Try and work it out.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:34 AM on Aug. 28, 2009

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