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How come I feel so terrible letting my 13 month old "cry it out" when I put her to bed? I am not hurting am I? And she wont hate me?

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Mokroid87

Asked by Mokroid87 at 11:58 PM on Aug. 25, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (18)
  • thats sad why would you just let her "cry it out" ?she just wants love and attention
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:00 AM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • Mommy instinct is generally a good thing;. Go talk with the woman in your mirror and see how she feels about it.

    They ALL learn to sleep on their own and you don't HAVE to do CIO. Google "Elizabeth Pantley" for some no-cry solutions.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 12:00 AM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • I totally did cry it out! He'd cry to 20 minutes every time and then sleep. I always checked him, even while crying, but didn't let him see me. He did it for about a week and then never again and he's my best sleeping kid. I'll say this, he might have been a tad older, like 16 months.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 12:03 AM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • if you have the time then by all means try to give that extra affection, but in truth is that may not be the case. i believe if a mother is stressed or needing to give herself some attention and it's bedtime for the little one then put them down and let them cry. as long at the baby is feed, dry, and in a safe place then letting them cry is okay. i dont understand why women feel bad to call a end to a day. when my daughter was about the same age i was stressed out, tired as hell, and couldn't remember somedays if i bathed or not :) i always say-WALK AWAY! because if you get upset at the fact the child isn't going to sleep it can open the door for terrible things.. remember mommies are human, and i think some woman aren't told that it's okay and then you end up with child abuse in some cases.... you seem like a good mom-don't let no one tell you different.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:16 AM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • right on anon 12:16, i agree
    NURSE_MOM_OF_2

    Answer by NURSE_MOM_OF_2 at 12:17 AM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • Do you have a bedtime routine? A bedtime routine and then lie them down. Sit in the dark and pat her back. After a few days of this you can put her to bed pat her a few times and let her get herself to sleep. If she needs to cry after that then let her.
    meandmyshadow

    Answer by meandmyshadow at 12:47 AM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • We did cio a little earlier - before they were very set in their ways. No - she won't hate you and you're not hurting her. As most of us who did cio will tell you, it will take a few days and then she will be a very good sleeper. Some people who do not use cio will call me a terrible mommy, but I know that I'm doing what I know is right and I'm a much better mommy when I get my sleep.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 8:32 AM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • We tried CIO one night. It was a bad night...but it worked. He has been an awesome sleeper ever since. He was 6 months old, so not as strong willed as a toddler. For a toddler, it may take a couple more days...but no, she won't hate you. She will probably be a happier little girl in the morning with a full night's worth of sleep!
    Glowing4Caleb

    Answer by Glowing4Caleb at 10:11 AM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • It was a long process, but we did it without cio. It started with me laying with him until he fell asleep to progresssing to reading him his book and singing his songs then I can get up at walk out with a peep. It was worth it, and I personally think that cio does some damage to your relationship. Are they going to outright call you on it, no, but deep inside they remember. They don't understand at that age, all they see is that mommy or daddy doesn't want to be with them. They are only little for awhile spend the time with them. But in the end you need to do what you feel is best, and since you are asking I assume you are second guessing yourself.
    Kristin216

    Answer by Kristin216 at 11:10 AM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • Its probably your mommy instinct telling you that its wrong! You do not need to CIO at all.
    Cynthje

    Answer by Cynthje at 11:21 AM on Aug. 26, 2009

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