Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Is it normal for my four yer old daughter to still not be potty trained?

We've tried ad tried but I just don't think she want's to and she can't go to preschool this year because she's not. I don't want her to get behind!

Answer Question

Asked by mom2kids1984 at 12:45 AM on Aug. 26, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (17)
  • I'm not sure the correct age, my daughter is 2 and I am trying to potty train her, she will go but doesnt remember to not go on herself when she is playing. If I were you I'd ask her doctor because they wont let her go to kindergarden if she is still in diapers. but I've been told all kids go when they are ready.

    Answer by mzprincessreina at 12:48 AM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • How far away from it is she? Will she sit on the potty or pee? is it both pee and poo she won't do? I'd just ask the doc.

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 12:54 AM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • yes it is normal, every child is different, all three of mine trained at different ages. It would abnormal if you havent even started the process of training yet at 4 y/o they need to already have an idea that this is what needs to happen soon.

    Answer by 3_ring_circus_ at 12:54 AM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • i don't think it's normal.. but thats jmo .. im sooo not saying your a bad parent.. i'm saying talk to her ped... there may be an underlying issue. i potty trained my son at 2.. i simply gave him no choice, i also bribed him with candy... only took abotu 3 days or so... he either pee'd in the potty, or on himself and he quickly learned that the latter is no fun!once you start don't go back... good luck! sayign that.. every kid IS different!

    Answer by VictinaG at 1:01 AM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • I would talk to her Dr. Because honestly, at 4, while it's very normal for them to still have accidents sometimes, for the most part, they should be able to use the toilet.

    I'm not saying there's anything horribly wrong, and yes, kids do develop at their own pace, but there are certain "benchmarks" that are generally met by certain points, and talking with her Dr is a very good way to figure out whats going on, and what could maybe be done to help her reach this one.


    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 1:14 AM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • Some kids don't fully potty train until 5, some even 6 years old just because she is four doesn't mean there is an underlying issue causing her to not be potty trained so don't let anyone scare you by saying that.

    Each kid develops at a different pace and different age. My son wasn't fully potty trained until a week or two before his fourth birthday

    as for what you can do, if she is still in diapers or pull ups you need to put regular underwear on her as long as she is wearing pullups or diapers she will continue to use her pants. I mean, after all it is easier, right?

    Answer by KalebsMommee at 2:10 AM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • Accidents are normal. Complete refusal of potty use is not IMO. That little lady needs to be in big girl undies or cloth pull up trainers so she can feel the icky wetness and cleaning up any accidents she has.

    Answer by sk_tennyson at 7:55 AM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • Just don't put diapers on her at all. I know thats hard, but if you havn't tried it, give it a try. DON"T buy them anymore. She probably won't like being messy. I know its no fun for the parents to clean up messes either. Other posters are right when they say there may be an underlying issue that needs to be addressed.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:13 AM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • There are many reasons children don't train as early as others. You need to ask your daughter why she doesn't want to use the potty ? Is it a control issue? Is she just a slow learner? Is she afraid of the potty due to some potty trauma you don't realize? Some children just get to busy with playing and forget, some want to stay the baby a little longer. They like the attention they get from the parent during changing. So you need to examine the reason and talk to your child's Doctor. They will have additional insight and potty training tips for you.


    Answer by mellowmommy64 at 9:51 AM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • I don't have anything to say about the potty training but your child isn't going to be behind because they don't go to pre-school. Anything they would be learning at preschool, you can teach them at home. And even if you teach them NOTHING at home, they catch up in school. Don't freak out.

    Answer by proud2Bmomma at 9:57 AM on Aug. 26, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.