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what do you think...

i have been with my partner for 2 1/2 yrs and we have 2 beautiful boys, we have our ups and downs (like every couple) and we seem to work out our differences (we are from 2 different but similar cultures), he doesnt think marriage is important it just a piece of paper to him, he has said on a number of occisions that he doesnt/wont get married and on different occisions that he doesnt want to rush in to marriage but once when we were shopping he said that he probley will marry me
i think very highly of marriage and want to get married, i am not asking for a wedding tomorrow, next week or even next year, i just want to know that we are going somewhere and that there is a real possiblilty of us getting married
i want to know what you all think and what you would do in this situation or any ideas on what to do or what to say or anything

i more than likely gonna stay with him but still want to know what you think

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Asked by Anonymous at 6:56 AM on Aug. 26, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • IMO, If he has not married you yet. he will not marry you.

     It took my oldest DD's now DH 4 or 5 years and her getting pregnant with his child for him to marry her.

    You already have 2 kids with him? I doubt he will ever marry you.


    Answer by louise2 at 7:03 AM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • If marriage is just a piece of paper to him, and you want to be married, I wonder why he doesn't go along with your wish if he cares about you enough to have two children with you. Why is he dragging his feet. If marriage means nothing to him, what is the difference then, why not get married. At least stand in front of a legal official and sign the papers- no big wedding needed, but you will be content and it doesn't matter to him anyway, so why not. These are my thoughts. And I do agree with Louise, it doesn't seem that he plans to marry you.

    Answer by Bmat at 7:30 AM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • check into your states commonlaw marriage laws. if you guys stay together long enough you will be considered married after so many years. but do it quietly and dont tell or remind your SO of what you have found out. if he ever decided to up and leave after so many years you are still entitled to child support and at least half of everything he owns and retirement and maybe even spousal support. dont let an idiot ruin your financial future just because he wants free milk and the cow, protect yourself and your childrens futures. make sure he has a life insurance policy also.
    if you want to stay with a person who does not want to marry, and he has openly told you that, that is your choice. but dont let your children suffer in poverty if and when he leaves.

    Answer by jewjewbee at 8:16 AM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • I doubt that he intends to marry you. He knows he doesn't have to, and you just said so by saying you will probably stay with him. Don't you think he knows that? Marriage is so much more than a piece of paper. It is a covenant between a man and a woman that says out of all the others in this world, I choose you and nobody else. I think that women who want to be married make a huge mistake by having sex with a man outside the bonds of marriage. Women give sex to get love(and they hope commitment); guys promise love(and maybe commitment) to get sex. Sometimes, the old-fashioned ways are the best ways. There is one way you can find out the truth. You can pack up your two children and tell him it's either marriage or you're leaving, but you must be prepared to hear the answer you don't want to hear and you must be ready to follow through so you need to know you have a place to go. That's what I would do.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:08 AM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • my dh and i were together for 7 years before we got married. we lived together and everything. he didn't want to rush into it and i was fine with it. we've now been together 18 years and will be celebrating our 11th wedding anniversary in a couple of months. sometimes it just a matter of giving them time.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:26 AM on Aug. 26, 2009

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