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Am I going to be a bad mom?

I am pregnant with my first and I am doing it on my own. The thing is dirty diapers and vomiting grosses the hell out of me and makes me want to do it too. I feel like a bad mom because it grosses me out and I am afraid I am not going to be able to do it. People have told me that it changes when it is your own kid. Is this true. I am so scared I never wanted to have kids but I am excited that I am having a baby girl. I just dont know the first thing about being a mom. I am terrified. I want to be the best that I can for my baby. Will I get over this? Please make me feel better, any advice or tips will help.

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Asked by crazypinkzebra at 9:35 AM on Aug. 26, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (30)
  • I think the "oh no is he ok!?" factor over rides the "ew gross, I'm going to vomit too" factor when you become a mom, which is why we tend to be able to handle our kid's messes better than when other people do it.

    Answer by MythicMMM at 9:41 AM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • Sometimes it does change but for my friend (also a single mom) she had to have a trash bucket handy for every diaper change to barf into...It doesn't make you a bad mom.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 9:41 AM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • It is different with your own, that is not to say you may not have a diaper that will gross you out. Feeling this way does not make you a bad momma. Since you are concerned about it, it shows how committed you are to finding a solution. You will find a way to make it work. Buy some air fresheners and a diaper pail like diaper genie to help keep the smell down. You will be okay Momma!

    Answer by Rebecca727 at 9:49 AM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • omg I thought I was the only person who thought this way! However, what you heard is right. When it's your own child and you know you are the only one who can help this vulnerable little child who is part of you then you do it. You have it a bit easier than we older women did. We had cloth diapers and had to deal with the smell until we did laundry. Now, women who use disposable diapers just throw the smell away and that's amazing. Remember that when babies throw up it's not like an adult. It's more spit up and without the bile smell. By the time it gets to the awful bile smell vomit you will be so used to it that it won't bother you anymore. It will be fine and you will be the best mom. How do I know? Because this bothers you and you want to be a good mom. A bad mom wouldn't care.

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:50 AM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • i am the EXACT same way! i cant handle the sight of poop or vomit..i will get sick myself! i was worried too when i got pregnant...but i can tell you with the UTMOST confidence that when it is your own kid...its completely different!!!!! the first time my kid got sick she was laying ON me...and it was grape juice....the worst thing to get sick on!!! and it didnt faze me at all! i had no problems cleaning it up and never even gagged! I think you will be just fine!

    Answer by blueeyedgrl2377 at 10:05 AM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • Thank you so much this is making me feel a whole lot better.

    Answer by crazypinkzebra at 10:47 AM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • you just have to endure it and think---boy am i glad the baby is pooping, because then you know the baby is happy and healthy and baby the is constipated is an unhappy baby!!!!

    Answer by blue_glass_mama at 10:47 AM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • mostly it goes away when its your own child... that said! there have been a few times when a poopie diaper makes me throw up, or atleast want to! and thank GOD my kids dont throw up much becuase when they do i still throwup... it dosent make you a bad mom, just a mom with a weak stomach! ive found that keeping a candel lit in the room where you change baby help a lot with the poop smells...

    and most kids dont throw up that much, espically as babies

    Answer by 2cuteboysrmine at 10:56 AM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • I used to get sick before I had my son however, he had reflux so I guess my body became used to it. The same thing may happen to you. Now when at school I am the ones that the kids come to when they are sick. The teachers that I work with many of them can't handle it. Good luck and no you aren't a bad mom for being sick.

    Answer by robinsi2000 at 11:02 AM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • First of all, the things that you can do for your children, are amazing! Second of all, being grossed out by poop and vomit, doesn't make you a bad mother. It makes you a human being. No one likes changing diapers or cleaning up vomit. We do it because we love our children and their well being in more important to us than our discomfort. If I see or smell vomit, I vomit, unless it is my children's. Even then sometimes I can barely contain myself. Keep an empty trash can near you with the bad diaper changes! You can hold a child in one spot with one hand while getting sick in a trash can and no one will ever think any less of you.

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 12:24 PM on Aug. 26, 2009

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