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How can I go about finding my brother who was put up for adoption??

My mom had a son before me. It's a long story but she put him up for adoption. His name was Michael at birth. It was a closed adoption. I don't think they had open at the time. She did not want to give him up but as i said long story. To me, regardless he is my brother. Whenever asked about siblings, I include him. I've never met him, have no idea what he looks like.. but there is someone out there who is biologically my brother. I want to know him. Is there a way to find him. It was closed so I don't think I can get anything out of the company. My mom gave me permission to find him. She wants to know who he is too. SHe misses him. Every birthday and holiday is rough on her. Any ideas, tips, just anything??

Answer Question

Asked by starmoonlight at 10:29 AM on Aug. 26, 2009 in Adoption

Level 2 (12 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • i believe you have to go through the courts of the state he was born in...not completely sure on this...

    Answer by blueeyedgrl2377 at 10:32 AM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • You know a good place to ask this question is in the 'Birthmoms' forum. They have all kinds of good tips, but many of them come here to reply to questions, too. Good luck.

    Answer by hollyanne31 at 11:28 AM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • Starmoonlight, greetings, Hollyanne is correct, please go to BIRTHMOMS GROUP, there are many wise women whom can offer their wisdom, from experience. I wish you luck, we never realize(any of us in the triad), just how MUCH this effects others...such as natural siblings, whom , also, had NO SAY! Blessings to you, I am a Firstmom, C.J.

    Answer by ceejay1 at 1:16 PM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • register here and and have your mother register too. Also contact the adoption agency or lawyer that handled the adoption, leave a letter in the file stating that you are searching and ask the agency to forward a letter to the adoptive parents on your behalf. This is a link to the adoption search resourse group: There's loads of advice there. If you can get a name of either your brother or his adoptive parents then you can get a free search volunteer, called a search angel, to help you find him. There is never any need to pay for someone to search for you.


    Answer by onethentwins at 2:19 PM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • cont...on a more personal note; do not expect that your brother will be as excited to be found as you are to find him. He may well be, he may have dreamed of meeting you and your mother for years, but he may not. In either case, I pray you can find him :)

    Answer by onethentwins at 2:21 PM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • I'm an adult adoptee from the closed era who would be THRILLED to discover I had siblings :) It warms my heart to hear how you've carried him in your heart and mind all these years.

    I only had a minute to post so I'll come back and offer suggestions later.

    Answer by PortAngeles1969 at 7:36 PM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • My suggestion would be to find and attend an adoption search and support group. Network with others who have searched the area, facilator and state your brother was adopted in. They know the laws concerning disclosure of info in that state, and would know of hints for where else to obtain info. It's great that your Mom wants to find too, because from what I' m aware of- many states do not recognize the right of siblings to search for one another. KNOW what you're entitled to obtain thru that states laws of disclosure. If you need help locating search/support groups, and adoption disclosure law, I'd be glad to share links to sites that can help.


    Answer by adopteeme at 5:02 AM on Aug. 27, 2009


    This is a great series of articles on 'how' to search


    Answer by adopteeme at 5:14 AM on Aug. 27, 2009

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