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Looking for advice!

I'm 46 yrs old, I'm overweight, I work full time, and I have 1 child (she's 5 1/2). I'm the financial provider for my daughter. My husband pays the rent and I pay for everything for the home, which includes gas, electric, clothes, shoes, toys, birthday parties, family vacations, furniture, sheets, towels, sports items, camps, uniforms, daycare, afterschool, medical, and do the laundry for my daughter and I, include other items. My husband and I don't share our salaries, he pays his bills and I pay mine. My relationship with my husband has been up and down, but lately up. My daughter wants a sister and I'm yawning for another child. I understand the risks for my age & weight. But, I'm not sure. I mentioned to a friend and she gave me all the flaws and mentioned how upset it was when my husband never helped out financially or help to raise my daughter. I'm looking to hear the pros and cons to help me decide what to do!

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happynewyorker

Asked by happynewyorker at 3:05 PM on Aug. 26, 2009 in Relationships

Level 5 (87 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • pros to having a baby: well you have the baby

    cons t having a baby: your age increases risks of downs syndrome, anemia, diabetes, cleft lip, autism all above 50% some as high as 70% risk

    Im pretty sure risks for a disorder is around 50 or 60% at age 40 and just goes up from there

    maybe you can adopt
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:10 PM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • Only you can decide the pros & cons. What might seem horrible to one person, might not seem so bad to another. Get two pieces of paper & do it yourself. Write down everthing positive about having another child. Then, on the other piece of paper, write down everything that might make having another child more difficult. Like health, finances & stuff like that.

    Good luck!
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 3:10 PM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • If you don't have a stable relationship, I definitely would not add another child to the mix, no matter how much you're yearning. Plus, what would happen if there are complications with the pregnancy (which is more likely with age) and you can't work for a period of time. I'm assuming your dh would step in and provide, but would he do it willingly without putting you under even more stress?
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 3:11 PM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • if it were me...and almost is my 6 y.o. wants a baby brother or sister I am 45 and I am way too old to do it again.....


    *Plus the risks of having a child with special needs increases with age.....I know our son has autism and it is rough to say the least.....


    *First you need to check with your Doctor to make sure everything is a go.....and then ask your self if you really want to start all over again with a child at 48 y.o.????????


    *That baby could still be at home when you are 70

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:12 PM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • With modern technology I'm sure there are more pros. Talk with your doctor. Many women are having healthy children at older ages. Im watching a program where a 56 yr old is having triplets.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:15 PM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • There are more risks involved with your age, and possibly your weight. You would have to decide what would be best for you. Plus, as you mentioned, your relationship with your husband is on the rocks, so maybe it isn't the best time for another child.

    Maybe you could get a nice puppy for you and your daughter. We all know how much puppies need love, so maybe it would be a good thing for you as well as your daughter. Plus, a puppy is cheaper than having another baby.

    Good luck!
    crystac

    Answer by crystac at 3:51 PM on Aug. 26, 2009

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