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tell me what you think and what you would do?

my son is having problems in his second week of kindergarden. The teachers say he is very hyper. running around class climbing and stuff. well the guidance counselor told me that they are going to try to work with him. well today i picked him up from school and this teacher that works in his class tells me that he had a horrible day and that they put him in a 30 minute timeout for running . we suspect adhd may be the issue . i am getting a evaluation from a psch tommorow. i am mad because they put him in a 30 min timeout for running that he cant control. that seems kind of extreme for a 5 year old. he also told me that this same woman was screaming in his ear. i am very upset i dont want my child being abused at school because hes more hyper and harder to handle. should i go talk to the principle?

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Asked by Anonymous at 3:40 PM on Aug. 26, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (17)
  • If he has ADHD wouldn't yo have known that before the 1st day of school?!?!?!?

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:42 PM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • Yes, right now get up got to the school and walk into the office and talk to the principal. The sooner you report teachers for that type of behavior the faster things get taken care of.

    start writting down everything that happens at school that you know of keep lots of notes becuase the school does this also. if your trying ot get a dx and the school is aware of it they need to work with you and keeping notes will help you keep track of what is happening.

    Answer by 3_ring_circus_ at 3:46 PM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • 30 min time out is outrageous..time out should be given on the age of the child..since he's 5 he would have spent 5 mins in time out. I would say something about the length of time out he spent to the teacher and her principal. I also would ask if she was screaming in his ear...of course she will say no, but, make sure you bring this up when you are talking to her in front of her principal. And get the counselor involved. And, I agree with the anon 42. Did you know about his behavior? Did his doctor know?


    Answer by Safirejewl at 3:47 PM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • If you are suspecting any problems or concerns about your son, first go to your pediatrician and ask to have a referral to a behavioral therapist. You will get the answers you need from there. As far as school goes, be proactive in talking about your concerns with all those in authority in the school system. I think teachers are largely overwhelmed with large classrooms and are ill equiped in dealing with boys who tend to be more active. A 30 minute timeout is ABSOLUTELY ridiculous and your son is being singled out instead of being dealt with in a constructive manner. I think it might be a good idea to ask that he be given another teacher or get some kind of special help so that he's not being isolated or ignored. It's the school's responsibility to work with children as individuals, and if they are unwilling or unprepared to do so then you have to make an alternative for him. I wish you the best of luck! BTW my son has ADHD.

    Answer by Heathercurlz at 3:50 PM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • No you don't always know it before they start school....and Doctors do not like to medicate children for ADD?ADHD until they are 6 y.o... they want to be sure that it is ADHD and not preschool age typical active childhood behavior....I would talk to the principal for sure. Tell her/him what he told you and that you have concerns. Yelling at an ADHD child just makes the ADHD more pronounced they will just tune you out more. One thing the teacher can try is to place a hand on your sons shoulder that helps to bring them back to earth. he WILL need reminders throughout the day about inside voices and walking feet. Teachers need to educate themselves on ADD/ADHD and AUTISM they can really lower a childs self esteem by constantly yelling at them for behavior they cannot control. I always say...its like being mad a blind person because they cannot see the chalk board...G/L check out that web site


    Answer by justgrape723 at 3:50 PM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • BTW I have been known to pick my child up from school hear something i didnt approve of from my chld and then park my car and invite myself into the office to have a chat with the teacher or principal. I am not rude about it I am very tactful but determined and the staff is usually very good about working with me and my concerns.

    Answer by 3_ring_circus_ at 3:50 PM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • Look, don't go to the school ready to take someone's head off. Be calm, collective and cool. See if they are willing to help your child. Discuss the issues at hand. Do document everything. Have the teacher, principal and counselor there. Do tell them that 30 mins time out was to long. Ask them if this is a normal practice of theirs and request that his time outs be shortened. 30 mins is to long. Get them to get the ball rolling on getting your son help. Think of questions you need to ask them. I don't know what questions you would ask because I don't know your son. Talk things over. Good luck

    Answer by Safirejewl at 3:53 PM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • First, you need to be calm when you talk to the principal or the teacher. Second, the first thing I would do is confirm: was he in time out for 30 minutes straight or did he keep getting sent to time out and it added up to 30 minutes? If it was straight, then that is over the top, and yes, it does need to be addressed. If it added up to 30, then that is something you need to talk to the dr about when you see him, that can help them confirm the diagnosis. Both of my kids have adhd, so I know where you are coming from. Go to the teacher first. Tell her what you are doing with the diagnosis, and ask her to work with you while you are going thru this process. I did that with my oldest, and his teacher was very willing to work with me and not jump to the worst consequences. The yelling definitely needs to be addressed. Just remember, stay calm. If you get angry, they won't take you seriously. If you have to, wait til tomorrow.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 4:02 PM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • there's some really good advice here...

    Answer by Safirejewl at 4:05 PM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • Sometimes it is difficult to foresee how any will react until they are in a classroom setting.Whether you find he has ADHD or not it sounds he definately has alot of energy! If I were you I would confront the teacher about what he had said about screaming in his ear if you have not already. Perhaps she was being firm and speaking close to his head and he felt intimidated? It may or may not be a matter of perception. I would definately bring this to the principal's attention, but I would not expect it to solve the issue completely. There is no excuse for abuse. Period. A thirty minute timeout is very excessive in my opinion.√ā¬†Unfortunately he probably is not developing a very positive attitude about school from all of this either. Hopefully his experience is not making him feel like he is not important in the classroom because if he feels uncomfortable he won't be able to focus on learning.

    Answer by Ewalani at 4:05 PM on Aug. 26, 2009

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