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Looking for advice!

I'm 46 yrs old, I'm overweight, I work F/T, & I have 1 child (she's 5 1/2). I'm the financial provider for my daughter.My husband pays the rent and I pay for everything else, include daycare, afterschool and so on.My husband and I don't share our salaries, he pays his bills and I pay mine.My relationship with my husband has been up and down, but lately up.I'm yawning for another child. I had my daughter at age 40, with no complications.I just had a physical in June and came out with flying colors.I understand the risks for my age & weight. I mentioned to a friend and she gave me all the down sides to having a another child, not so much about health, but about the relationship with my husband. Never helping out financially, always at work and never around to help raise his daughter.I know I will have to make a list of pros & cons and speak with my doctor.Any other advice will help. Should I consider becoming a foster parent?

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Asked by happynewyorker at 4:09 PM on Aug. 26, 2009 in Relationships

Level 5 (87 Credits)
Answers (3)
  • You could consider a foster child, but you're going to have to do all the work anyway, right? If you are yerning for another child of your own, and you're in good health, as it sounds, why not give it a shot?

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:10 PM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • Are you prepared to be a single mom to 2 children? That is what I see coming. According to you your husband is not even involved raising your dd, what makes you think that another child would be any different?

    A child will not bring you two together the opposite is true, a child will not make him want to be there and be a father. you can't force anybody to do anything that is not in their hearts. Sorry if is harsh but that is the way I see it after reading your post.

    I could be wrong, but it seems to me as if you have bigger problems with your family dynamics than becoming a mom to another child to a man who seem uninvolved and uninterested in having a family with you.

    You can always do more for the child you already have or volunteer some time taking care of babies to get the baby fever off you.

    Answer by bebita at 4:36 PM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • Do you want to bring another child into a situation where they won't have two parents? I'm not saying that children raised by single parents don't grow up just fine but do you really think it's fair to bring another child into the home to be neglected by a father figure? Is it fair to the child you have now to spread your time even more thin? Please think long and hard about your decision. It's bad enough that he's neglecting the daughter that you two have together. You'll soon learn that regardless of what you do or give to your daughter she will always long for her father's attention. If she doesn't get it, she will always go looking for male attention and base her self worth on how she's treated by men. She might even end up falling for a guy that neglects her because that's what she's used to.


    Answer by legalmommy101 at 4:49 PM on Aug. 26, 2009

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