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Are any of you dealing with a strong willed child?

My son is 3 yrs old.. I have done evertyhing I talk to him n give him up to 3 chances than time outs and finally a spanking and he continues to test both my hubby and I ... I say no and he continuesto do what he wants.... Pls help me

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BossLady030609

Asked by BossLady030609 at 6:39 PM on Aug. 26, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (10)
  • Yes, sounds like a control battle. Have you read Dr. Phil's book "Family First"? I highly recommend it. Sometimes changing your parenting style makes all the difference in the world. The difference between saying, " Pick your toys up right now, you know better than to leave your toys on the floor and (Child's name) will you please help mommy out by picking up your toys for me?"

    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 6:46 PM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • I'm on that same boat too.

    One of the reasons why I decided to put my daughter in school is because I have also ran out of options. I have spanked her a few times, but I don't think it makes a difference to her. In my case, spanking turned out to be only a temporary solution. So I don't recommend spanking. What I do, that seems to work more often than not, is when she does something that I don't like, I get down to her level (on my knees) and look at her straight in the eyes address the issue sternly.

    What legalmommy101 said is also good. That works for me on certain occasions. But when my daughter does something that's terribly out of line, I don't have time to re-word what I need to say. By the time I figure out a polite way to scold her, she's already half way across the room!

    I'll also tell you what I've been told many times: It's only a phase, it'll run it's course. Just have some extra patience.
    tatsmygirl

    Answer by tatsmygirl at 7:07 PM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • I agree with legalmom too. If a problem is that he won't pick up his toys, start taking them away, favorite one first. Put it somewhere where he can see it but can't reach it and tell him he can earn it back by cleaning up his toys for x amount of days. This worked for my sister with her son
    JuicyJuiceKids

    Answer by JuicyJuiceKids at 7:16 PM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • my son will be 3 next month,and he's as stubborn and pig-headed as they come!!! NOTHING seems to phase him! Everybody keeps telling me it's just a phase,and my family tells me "he gets that naturally from you-you were the same way when you were little"...Everybody always talks about the 2's being terrible-but they fail to tell you that 3's are even worst!
    dakotasmommy06

    Answer by dakotasmommy06 at 9:47 PM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • I have one of those stubborn, thinks everything is negotiable, and pushes my buttons son! Forget terrible 2's we are going through terrible 3's.  I have found that being more consistence with discipline and not even sliding on anything really works.  IF I slide the least lil bit oh he takes that and runs with it.  I love him but man I swear he is going to be an only child! lol (I am really serious about the only child part) Potty training was another issue we have mastered only b/c we backed off and had dont care attitude about it.  As soon as we stopping caring either way he potty trained himself! It is nice I am not alone...let us remember that next time our kids are throwing a fit b/c he lost his toy that he/she decided to chuck at one of our heads. LOl

    Mom2Just1

    Answer by Mom2Just1 at 10:15 PM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • Stop giving him three chances. That's just egging on the behavior. Give him one sharp warning, and immediate punishment if/when he disobeys. Be firm in both voice and action. Don't let him get away with anything. He'll get it eventually.
    Mousuke

    Answer by Mousuke at 4:13 AM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • I would give him 1 warning then in time out he goes. You don't start timing until he is quiet and stays in the corner or spot or where ever. If he gets up it starts over. If when it's done he just does it again back in there he goes. It will eventually work. Last week my 4 yr old was in timeout for 3 hrs because he kept getting up or screaming. Now I just have to tell him and he goes and stays there.
    I would buy supernanny's book. It's full of everything you can imagine. What I've noticed reading it is that the main thing is to stay calm and not yell. When their tantrums phase you they will keep doing it.
    2murphyboys

    Answer by 2murphyboys at 4:22 AM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • I had the same problem, I set new rules in our house and my son gets 1 warning then time out. Removing him from the situation has helped almost instantly. You and your husband have to be a united front. I know it can be hard, my son had spent 45 mins fighting me and still had to do his 3 mins in time out but you just have to be strong and not give in.
    munchkinman

    Answer by munchkinman at 8:54 AM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • I go through the same thing with my daughter...she is very independent and also quite stubborn at times...good suggestions/answers from everyone so far...remember to try to remain calm *easier said than done I know*...the only thing I would add to any of this is to as it suggests with Love & Logic, to offer your child as many choices as you possibly can...it lets them be in control over their choices...your best bet is to stick to only 2 options for your child to choose from...and this can be over the silliest things but make sure that each option is one that YOU are okay with...and to also let your child know what is coming...*e.g. I let my daughter choose during bathtime if she wants to be washed first then play or play first then wash...or if we wash first then I will give a choice of either 3 min or 5 min of play* and use countdowns..like if we are at the park..I will do a 10, 5, 2 min warning of time to leave..it helps
    kkaszebski

    Answer by kkaszebski at 9:10 AM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • What is the supernannys book called? I would love to get it. She is so good!
    tbamissamerica

    Answer by tbamissamerica at 11:12 AM on Aug. 27, 2009

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