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my dds are driving me looney!

my dd is 14 mos. old, and is used to being the only stepdaughter, 5, just flew out from CA and is here through sep. 6...all they've done is fight..kayla (5) snaps at kenzie (14 mos) bc she takes crayons that were in a pile, but that she wasnt using..kenzie pulls kaylas hair, hits her, and today bit her (which isnt out of the ordinary for kenzie bc she got a

1. how do i get the to chill and try to get along?
2. how do i get my 14 mos. old to stop hitting scratching pulling hair and biting?

ALSO: kayla (5) is VERY bad about making up excuses to not eat (my tummy hurts, i don't want it, i feel sick, etc.) and its to the point i'm sending her to her room or making her sit there until she eats...its a fight every meal, and its now gotten to where my hubby has to hold food in front of her mouth to get her to do we break her of this?

HELP ME PLEASE, i'm losing patience with both girls!!

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:15 PM on Aug. 26, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (6)
  • CONT'D

    oh, and kaylas always yelling "stop it" to kenzie, or "let go", but turns right around and wants to play with her.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:17 PM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • the 14 month old has to learn to share it gets easyer when there a lil older and xplain to 5 yr old that she needs to understand baby and how thinks for dinner its crule but it worked for me ( years ago..) my x fiences son age 6 at the time would do the same my tummy hurts im not hungry after a month of that i tried something nana told me..i bough a bag of m&m's and when he said "im not hungry" i said fine do u want these ( showing him bag ) he was thrilled yes i want thoes...ok then hurry up and eat and u can have them, he did and he got them..i would take him to the store let him pick out 3 snacks he loves so dinner time he would eat because he wanted what we bought him..and i would let him pick which one..yes the first night was mean but it worked.

    Answer by tabbys4 at 8:29 PM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • I don't think what tabby did was mean. I do that same thing with my kids. If you want a treat, you need to eat dinner first. Also make sure that your portions are not too big for the age of your child. A 5yr old can't be expected to eat as much as a 14yr old. As for the fighting, I would also explain that babies are still learning how to share. Maybe engage Kayla in helping baby learn how to share. I tell my 4yr old to hold out his hand if Noah takes something away that he was playing with. Most of the time Noah gives it back. Then Jacob (4) will say thank you with a smile and walk away. Noah goes about his business or he finds something else to give Jacob. Also, I have Jacob handing Noah's toys to him also. That way Noah won't think everyone is taking stuff away from him either. Good luck.

    Answer by officerjoeys at 8:40 PM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • more idea for meals with Kayla.....sometimes try to make a lunch or dinner that Kayla can "help" make. Like mixing something or getting out ingredients. Some kids are more willing to eat something they made themselves.

    Answer by officerjoeys at 8:41 PM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • i give kayla as much as i give kenzie to eat, barely more than that..i know she's a picky eater, and i've told her constantly that i'm not going to cater to her special wants..she eats what we eat, when we eat...but still Kenzie (14 mos. old) out-eats Kayla.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:43 PM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • I suggest taking some time alone with Kayla. Do something special just the 2 of you. Have daddy do the same. If she feels a little more special, she might loosen up and behave a little better with Kenzie. I would also suggest letting Kayla have a little time to play without Kenzie with certain things. Crayons can only be used at the table, and Kenzie can only use the ones that MOM gives her while in a high chair or something. My toddler prefers to eat crayons, so it is a big kid activity only. Make sure Kayla knows that certain activities are for Kenzie too though. I agree with finding some foods that Kayla can help prepare. Home made pizza is a great one, just make a big pizza for everyone and let her help decorate it. Shape sandwiches w/ a cookie cutter, even go so far as to let her create the menu for a meal. Give her options, and let her choose if she gets too carried away though. heh Good luck!

    Answer by BunniBunni at 2:01 AM on Aug. 28, 2009

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