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Abusive husband PLEASE HELP

My best friend's husband beats her. He has also hurt their 6 month old son. I've finally convinced her to leave him. She needs information on what to do and where to go. We live in oregon. She's afraid to be without him because she cant support her or their son. Please help. What can she do? I already took pictures of her bruses and marks. She has already filed three domestic disputes with the police in the past.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:19 PM on Aug. 26, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • You are NOT under obligation to report the abuse to the police. Oregon law - http://www.oregon.gov/DHS/abuse/mandatory_report.shtml. Reporting may sound like a good idea to some, but it is not always the best idea in the long run. Making a plan to get OUT is most important. Legal issues and charges can always be filed later.

    What happens, sometimes, is that the man is arrested, then the woman feels sorry for him, when he gets out of jail she takes him back. Bad cycle.

    On the other hand, something life threatening could happen to one or both of them if nothing is done. She needs to get out. See posting on other question.
    Drewlove

    Answer by Drewlove at 11:21 PM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • If he has hurt the baby he may go to jail and then he can't pay support. You are required by law to report it if you know he has hurt the baby.

    If he doesn't go to jail he will have to pay support. That will help with money. Lets hope there is a shelter that can help her figure out how to survive.
    GailllAZ

    Answer by GailllAZ at 10:22 PM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • I Grew up in oregon. Depending on what part of Oregon there are places that abused women can go to and live with there children. If she is afraid of not being abe to get away from him then she needs to call the police and have them escort her into the home to get all the stuff of theres and then leave. My mom used to be with an abuser. Its not easy leaving. And its really scary. Tell her to go somewhere he will not be able to find her. And to make sure to tell no one where she is. After time goes by for a bit then she can move on with her life. Maybe get a restraining order. Tell her good luck.
    SMarsolf

    Answer by SMarsolf at 10:23 PM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • oh btw make sure if they have a safe house she stays there so that she can get all the help they provide. when i left i went to my dads bc of the situation and then i was told they couldnt help me get a place to stay but they helped me with the order still.
    heartfrommyson

    Answer by heartfrommyson at 10:37 PM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • I'd google women's shelters and make some calls to see which has room. They will really be able to give you the info you need. I am sorry for your friend. : (
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 10:54 PM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • By not reporting child abuse, you could actually get in trouble with the law. You need to report the abuse right now. By not reporting it yourself, you are only helping it happen again. Things will be rough for your friend and her son but at least they will be safe. Nobody should ever lay their hands on a woman or especially a baby. If somebody abused my child, I would kill them dead.
    sweetmoonem

    Answer by sweetmoonem at 11:06 PM on Aug. 26, 2009

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