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welfare/pa parents and staying home 24/7

are the parents that are on PA/welfare/food assistance the ones that say moms that get one night out a week w.o. their kids are bad moms? is that cause you cannot afford to go out ? i told my husband that i was getting grief because we go out one night a week and the willing grandma's watch our DD, he said well how many of them that said that are welfare families and cannot afford it like we can? thought it was a legit question not one to cause drama but really had me wondering

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:30 PM on Aug. 26, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (11)
  • I used to get foodstamps and wic and I was a SAHM. I hated it. I only stayed home for 10 months and got food stamps for 2. Now I manage a Small Loan and Tax office. I have less "extra" cash now than I did before I went back to work. We had to have another car and also pickup a daycare bill. I never get to go out anymore because I don't have the money, but when I was just government help (no cash or bill assistance, just food) I always had the money to go out. In a way, i really don't care because I feel better about myself when I'm taking care of my own responsibilities.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:42 PM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • We could easily afford to hire a sitter and go out one night a week but we don't. I wouldn't ask the grandparents to do that either, I think that's asking too much. There are better things to spend money on and I'd rather get take out or call for pizza and snuggle down to watch a movie anyway. Much cheaper and it means you don't need to get all dressed up and you don't need to come home before getting naked which is always good on date night ;-)
    RhondaVeggie

    Answer by RhondaVeggie at 11:42 PM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • for us, my daughter spends about one night a week at grandma's house, not b/c we ask but b/c my mom misses her (we lived w/them for over 2 years) and she misses grandma and my brother. so she goes there one night a week and gets spoiled rotten, we don't go out every time, but it gives her time away from us and to have fun w/someone else,and us time to spend alone or pick up or do housework that is easier to do w/o her underfoot.
    vabchmommy

    Answer by vabchmommy at 11:47 PM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • That is sorta judging. Not ever SAHM is on Welfare. Some just may not be able to afford it weekly. There is only 1 income coming to a household and they could be on a budget and not able to do things like that. I am a SAHM i don't go out every week b/c 1. why do I want to do that everyweek and get drunk or have a few drinks and leave my kids at home 2. it does cost ALOT if some people go out and drink everyweek. That adds up. So just b/c they stay home doesn't mean its not b/c they are on welfare. they budget their money different. is that so bad? I don't think so. I believe that mothers who stay home with their kids have a different look on life and family than those who work. I know sometimes both parents need to work but I also know it can be done on 1 income. Also I dont understand why working moms say "Oh I need a break!" how can you need a break when you work and you're gone everyday!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:47 PM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • I think that's a pretty ignorant statement. We're not on any form of PA, and I wouldn't dream of going out once a WEEK. Maybe twice a month or something, but i'd rather be at home with my family. My friends come over...the kids and I go over to their houses too, but we hardly ever leave our kids with our parents to go out without them. I guess it's just not a priority to us.
    milfalicious08

    Answer by milfalicious08 at 11:48 PM on Aug. 26, 2009

  • op- it wasnt a statement it was a question well my hubby made it a statement i made it a question.. also i AM a SAHM myself as well,and i guess we love having our weekly date night, heck the dr even said its good for us plus grandma gets mad if she dont get baby lol and we dont take that night to drink.. just to bond as a couple, but after he said that i wondered if that was the reason you stay in or judge me for going out once a week, and anon to say its judging i never said we drink or that i worked... so you judged as well, but yea i never thought bout pa= not going out till he said it was all..
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:02 AM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • I would kill to have one night alone with my husband....not a bar hopping kinda way...just the 2 of us alone in the house to talk and not have to bite our tounge because of the young ears...lol...
    and to just hang out on the couch naked and watch a movie and other....who says you have to go out and wine and dine to have a good time???
    the best time is knowing you have the house..alone and nobody can hear the wild sex, and it is better when your not drunk!!!lol
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:17 AM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • I am on PA (food, medicaid for kids) and was a SAHM for 4 years (yes while on PA). I think it's healthy for you and your hubby to go out once a week if you can afford it. There is nothing wrong with it at all. This is a prime example that you can't please everyone in this world.
    luvmygrlz

    Answer by luvmygrlz at 12:31 AM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • I am a stay at home mom and not on welfare. Also my husband and i could go out one night every week but i think it is selfish; i think more about my child.
    heartfrommyson

    Answer by heartfrommyson at 1:19 AM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • =op= i find it sad that you think its selfish to have a YOU night once a week when the grandparents willingly take baby, i love my baby but i have not forgotten who i was before her and i love that night with my hubby to reconnect i find it sad that you think its selfish to reconnect and regroup with your husband.. also my dr said that it is actually healthier to get out a few times a month w/o baby helps with my stress level and everything else, but man to think its selfish to have one night im talking an 7pm drop off and a 9am pickup from grandma's to yourself is really really sad...and am thankful that i get to have that few hrs to re connect with my first love my husband!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:11 AM on Aug. 27, 2009

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