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When did you start talking to your kids about sex?

I have two boys (9&7) and a two year old girl. I know that some of my older son's friends may have some ideas about how babies are made. I don't know how ready my boys are for that kind of information but I want my husband and I to be the one's who provide that info. I don't want my kids to be misinformed but I also don't want them to know more than what they need to too soon? Any ideas, suggestions?

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:53 PM on Aug. 26, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (10)
  • I typically go with the "if they are old enough to ask" rule, I dont give graphic answer i tailor it to their age, my boys are 8 and 11, my oldest has been given more info than my 8 y/o only because he has asked more questions and is in middle school now. I do believe it is never too early to start, I dont mean graphic description, start with how its okay to touch and not okay to touch. I have found great books that help you explain it. at 9 and 7 you probably need to have that talk soon kids at this age are already talking about it even if your kids are not telling you they are.

    Answer by 3_ring_circus_ at 12:14 AM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • I have 2 girls both are 8 now (the oldest will be 9 in oct). I started at about 4 years old when they asked about the differences in boys and girls "parts". It was age appropriate and very simple questions with simple answers. This year I had the talk with my girls about their periods and what happens when a woman gets her period. The next step will be having the sex talk. Which will be probably with in the next 3 years. Starting early is best.  Here is a good site:


    Answer by luvmygrlz at 12:17 AM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • I"d wait for them to ask you. No sense if giving them a bunch of info they aren't ready for and don't care to know about yet. But keep the lines of communication open, even ask leading questions just to get them to talk to you. Let them know that if they have any questions or concerns about that or anything else, you are there to answer them.

    Answer by robinann5 at 12:36 AM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • Are you kidding? We've been talking about sex since they were three. Answers and topics are age appropriate, of course. Sex is healthy and natural and shouldn't be treated with a shameful hush-hush attitude.

    We regularly have talks about sex and relationships. I make a point to be candid with my kids without making conversation embarrassingly awkward; I joke about it ("Alright, time for another uncomfortable conversation!") and don't trap them into talking, it's more of a way of keeping the communication door open and letting them know that they are welcome to come to me about anything.

    They know about sex, we've had the masturbation discussion, and the contraceptives talk is soon to come, woooo!

    Answer by Mousuke at 4:08 AM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • we started with my oldest when he was 4 and I was pregnant. He is 14 and we are still talking about it. It is never to early and it can be way to late quickly. Just start small and answer honestly and only with as much detail as is needed at the time.

    Answer by littleredpony at 11:59 AM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • I agree with littledpony. We started when I was pregnant with my 3rd child and my oldest was 4. He started asking questions and we started answering them. Remember to keep it simple and we always let him led the conversation. We answered and then asked do you have any more questions, if not then we did not give any more information.

    He is now 12 and we still talk about sex with him. as well as with his brother who is 10 and sister who is 7.

    Good Luck

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 8:35 PM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • I think my son was about 4 years old. It is never to early to talk about our bodies, sex, etc. I geared the talks to his age and the questions he was asking. He is now 13 and I still talk to him about sex. He has known what a condom was since he was about 6, he knows to NEVER have sex without one, he knows how a female gets pregnant, how a baby is born (both vaginal and C-section), he knows about respect and responsibility. He knows what STD's are and how they are prevented and what they look like, he also knows that I want him to wait as long as possible to have sex. He knows that being sexual is a natural and normal part of development. If a child is asking, they are old enough to know. A lot of kids around 9 or 10 are starting health class in school. Knowledge is always good.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 9:07 PM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • you should be prepared for questions, but they may not even be asked. If they're not, it's your job to step in. By the time kids are 11 or even 10, they'll know a whole lot more than you've ever told them. Movies, TV, Magazines, Books, etc. supply info about sex. Start off by just telling them a little about sex, not too much and you don't have to be explicit. just tell them little about what it is. Tell them more as they get older, by the time they're 12 or 13, they should know about STDs and protection and how you want them to wait.

    Answer by LeviM at 3:42 PM on Aug. 30, 2009

  • I have three sons and one daughter and we had to start kinda early with the talks. You have to see what they can handle and be totally truthful . Don't act like it is funny and tell them things that there age can understand. talk to them independly and tell them to keep it too themselves but let your husband talk to your sons and you stay out of it. boys will be inbarrested with you in the room. Our sons were told the abusoulte truth and know what is possible and what is not and about dieases and pregances and how they could hurt themselves. Our oldest is 23 and he want have sex yet because he wants to be married and not get aids. He keeps telling me and his dad that there are two many woman that want to use him and he is just waiting for the right one. I think that the honest talks we had and the information we showed him and the people with vd dieases we had him talk to made him understand, plus we raised him very strickly .

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:12 AM on Aug. 31, 2009

  • I have always kept an open for discussion attitude. I grew up with a hush hush, dont talk and its not a problem, well i got pregnant too early and will not have my daughters be stupid about sex. My oldest told me thier were kids "kissing with toungue" on the Kindergarden playground, and asking what lesbians are. she is now 12 and came up to me with a friend and had no blusing but straight out asked how a person who is allergic to latex has protected sex! and I jumped for joy that she felt comfortable enough and SMART enough to ask. I answered honestly and then asked if either of them were thinking about it. Of course mine says heck no but they were worrried about a friend. My daughter tells me she is the only one who doesnt have a bf and that she is sad but her last bf forced her to kiss him. Please there is a lot going on earlier now and if your children arent informed they hear bad info from thier freinds.

    Answer by roxyann76 at 3:17 PM on Sep. 14, 2009

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