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So, what if I'm overwhelmed?

I'm really resentful of my daughter lately. My husband works long hours. I'm a stay at home mom. My daughter is almost 15 months and, I've not been away from her for more than a couple of hours at a time since birth. I feel trapped... suffocated almost. I feel like I can't get out. I love her, and I want her... but sometimes I feel like just giving up. Just leaving for awhile. I would never do it, but the pull is tempting.
I knew that being a mom wouldn't be easy but, I never expected this. I'd go to work except, we'd be paying more in childcare than I'd make. We don't have any family around because my husband is military -- we're really far away from them. What do I do? I feel so alone. I'm afraid to say anything because I'm afraid someone will think I'm a bad mom... that I don't love her... and take her away. I don't want that, I don't know what to do.

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Asked by Anonymous at 6:59 AM on Aug. 27, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (16)
  • I know that when my hubby was in the military, the wives of his unit were pretty close. We all hung out together and relied on each other for things like this. I know it is hard being away from family, I was a military brat for the first 18 years of my life and a military wife for 3 years after that. Your daughter is at the age where she is probably a regular handful and it does get overwhelming. All I can really tell you is it will get better. I say this because I've been there, my daughter didn't want ANYBODY except me for the first 4 years of her life. Daycare wouldn't accept her because she would cry and scream until I came back, I have been home now for the better part of 9 years, but I get to go back to work next week! If you need someone to talk to, message me. You are not a bad mom from what I read.

    Answer by kustomkrochet at 7:30 AM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • you are just needing a break. If I were you I would look into some mommy and me groups, and join them. Make some friends with other wives stationed where you are. I totally understand you needing a break. its hard when you DH is working a lot. tell DH that at least once a week, or every other week or even once a month he needs to watch your daughter so that you can have a break and some "me" time. Trust me you will come back a much better wife and mother if you take some time for yourself. Sometimes just getting a book going to a coffee shop and reading it for a while or a long soak in the tub or even getting a pedicure does wonders for you


    Answer by Anonymous at 7:34 AM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • You are human, thats all. Talk to your husband and tell him that you need a break, a little time to yourself. Whether it is just to go for a walk alone or to the mall, maybe out for a cup of coffee with someone. I went through the same thing and my husband was very understanding. He didn't realize just how stressed out I was. I would be so excited just to get to go to the grocery store by myself!

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:51 AM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • Thank you for the replies. I guess that really is all. I'm so overwhelmed I'm nauseated. Constantly.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:00 AM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • Just please don't take it out on her, I know you got cabin fever, I had it with my daughter and was more mad at my husband than anything, I would just keep busy with my daughter and enjoy our time either way, if anything why don't the two of you stroll around the park or go shopping during the day.

    Answer by MommaRox4683 at 8:14 AM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • I know how hard and frustrating it can be to rarely get a break. I have 3 boys ages 4,3 and 15mo. My husband also works long hours and i have the kids to myself 24/7. My middle son has special needs as well. My family lives in a different state as well. I see my parents twice a year and that is when i get a little break. My 3 and 4 yr. old will be attending school this year so that will help. Take time to do something relaxing for yourself when your daughter takes her naps. I try to get at least 2 out of my 3 boys to nap at the same time. That way i get some peace. I think it can just get overwhelming sometimes and talking with someone might help, if it the right person. I don't think you should or would be judged for the feelings you are experiencing. They are nornal, especially for a mommy who has little or no help. Talk with someone you trust, your paretns, siblings whoever.vent to another adult. Smile if ucan)

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:29 AM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • I felt like that at one time, I gave my grand mother a plane ticket to come see me and while she was here I got to go places by myself. Even the grocery store was a treat without a screaming baby. There is nothing wrong with asking for help. Ask a family memeber to come visit you, explain how you feel. It is normal for stay at home moms to feel like this my son is 3 and I send him over to my dads house so I can have 45 mins to myself.

    Answer by munchkinman at 9:03 AM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • You need to network, meet people, look on base for babysitters. You need to get out! What you are feeling is completely normal, but you have to make an effort to get out and just hang by yourself for a while

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 9:05 AM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • im kind of in the same boat,my lil one is 15months and im a stay at home mom,i dont have anyone around except in laws,and they dont realy like me.try going to church,you would get a little break and your little one can make some friends.go get a hair cut your nails done,do domething for your self and it will make you feel alot better.

    Answer by angelairelan at 9:30 AM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • Sounds like you can use a short vacation or alteast some time to get away. Like maybe go to the mall and do stuff for yourself. Maybe get you hubby to take care of her while you come up for air. GL It's normal to feel this way just make sure you don't let it eat you up bc it will. You control what you are feeling just make the best of it. GL It will soon pass.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:35 AM on Aug. 27, 2009

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