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hubby doesnt make is son do anything...

my stepson who lives with us fulltime walks around being rude and cocky to everyone,i gave him 20$ to do the dishes,well every dish was dirty so hubby told him to clean his bathroom,2 weeks later im still getting on hubby to make him clean his bathroom,so hubby tells him and he says no why do i have to.also he is failing already and its only into the 2nd week of school.i tol dhubby i do not want to have a 20 something yr old living with us walking around not doing anything.hubby says he doesnt say anything to his son becouse it will start stuff,so stepson walks around doing whatever,he also eats up everything in one day(says cuz he is bored)so certain foods i have to hide some of it or no one else will get any.im tierd of bitching about this to hubby and him not caring i gess.he is also sometimes mean to our 15month old girl.hell eat her stuff in front of her and stuff.then laugh at her cuz she wants some.

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angelairelan

Asked by angelairelan at 9:43 AM on Aug. 27, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Level 12 (675 Credits)
Answers (3)
  • If it's just his bathroom then leave it. Sounds gross BUT if it doesn't affect anyone else using it then he'll get tired of the filth eventually. Don't do his towels, clothes, anything. Don't buy him new clothes, etc. Let him know that if he wants new jeans he has to earn them. If he complains about his bathroom being dirty point him in the direction of the cleaners. If need be then get locks for the kitchen cabinets and the fridge. Sounds horrible but he needs to realize that he's not the king of the house. If you can't lock the cabinets you can always put that food in your bedroom and lock the door. The other thing I would consider is getting him into counseling to find out what is going on in his head. Is his mom filling it with garbage? Is he doing drugs? Hanging out with the wrong crowd? Anything could be wrong. The last thing I would say is to tell you dh to grow some and put his foot down supporting you!
    baconbits

    Answer by baconbits at 10:22 AM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • Your stepson is a bad roommate. I am sorry that you have to put up with this, but you are not the parent. If his parents aren't willing to set up a system to motivate him, then you need to decide whether or not your husband is worth dealing with this leech.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:24 PM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • I have to say that as a step parent, it is more difficult for you but you are still in a position of authority. Talk to your husband and explain that either he will be responsible for the discipline of your step son or you will. Discuss acceptable forms of punishment and reward with your husband, and once you are agreed, confront the step son. He needs to know that his dad is on-board and that you two are a team. Make a list of chores, with a pay amount per job. If he wants money, he can look up what to do to earn it. I have a similar chart in play for my daughter, hers is a daily list that could actually earn her $40 a week if she did it all. She gets about $5 a week. This is her choice. She is responsible for earning the money for extras, like McDonald's for her once a week or movies. She spends a lot of time in her room too, with no phone, no radio, no TV due to attitude. Slowly but surely she is coming around. :)
    BunniBunni

    Answer by BunniBunni at 8:03 PM on Aug. 27, 2009

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