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If you had to choose, would you put your baby in daycare or let her grandmother babysit her?

I have a 1yr old girl & since she was born, her paternal grandmother has kept her for me while her dad & I work. She only charges us $60/week & she's very good w/her. However, things are not working out w/her dad & I & I have decided to get my own place. The problem is that my daughter's grandma lives on the southside of town & finding a decent & safe place to live on the southside within my budget is very difficult. I currently live in a very nice neighborhood on the southside w/my daughter's father but there's no way I can afford a place like that on my own. If I move to the northside of town where neighborhoods are better & within my price range, then I wouldn't be able to drive back & forth everyday to take her to her grandmas & she would then have to go to daycare. Im stressed out about this, just want some advice from other moms, THANKS.
When I leave, my daughter's father WILL be paying childsupport.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:58 AM on Aug. 27, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (9)
  • If you can afford daycare then I would choose daycare. She will have more fun at daycare and the social interaction with other kids her age. The only downside is she will probably be sick more often. When my daughter was in daycare she was always sick but it was also winter so I dont know if it was the other kids or the weather.
    drs1206

    Answer by drs1206 at 10:01 AM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • isnt daycare going to cost you more??
    mommymeg03

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 10:04 AM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • If there is any way you can continue to use grandma as the caregiver, i think it would be best. You KNOW your dd is getting loving care, and there are playgroups she can use for the social interaction. Daycares are notorious for illness (b/c of the high volume of kids/families in & out daily, and not everyone keeps their sick children home), but also having a stable (daycares have a high turn over) relationship for your dd is best. If you do choose daycare, i would recommend a small daycare (the smaller the better) and even better a home daycare. I've worked in daycare all my life. I quit daycare centers years ago b/c i was sick of all the bad things i saw over and over at different centers. I would never put my children in a center. If i ever have to work again, i would use a home daycare. JMO.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:12 AM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • OP

    I know putting her in daycare would give her more social interaction w/other kids but the downside is her getting sick much easier in a daycare. & when kids are sick, daycares will NOT take them until they are better. If her grandma watches her, she will watch her whether she is sick or not so I wouldnt have to worry about calling into work. & daycare does cost A LOT more than 60 dollars a week. I'm weighing my options but Im still stuck!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:12 AM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • The thing with daycare is people always argue the whole "well they need to be socialized" hoop-lah.. Kids can be socialized even outside of daycare!!! With that said, go with the option you are most comfortable with and which is easiest/cheaper for you. Yes, you may be able to find a daycare center closer to you but would you feel fully comfortable with her being there? Also factor in how much you will be paying.. It might be cheaper (and better for both of you) even factoring in the traveling portion of it for you to keep taking her to her grandmother. For me if I had the option of grandparent over daycare i'd choose grandparent.
    KalebsMommee

    Answer by KalebsMommee at 10:18 AM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • Sit down and write out a list of pros and cons of each one and then compare them.
    KalebsMommee

    Answer by KalebsMommee at 10:19 AM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • In your situation, I would consider the grandmother. I wouldn't let my step mom baby sit except in emergencies, so I use a day care. I love it and so does my 2 year old. She's just from the old school of thought and liked to put my daughter to bed with a pillow at 6 months and she just spoils/hold her the whole time. Maybe you can find care that is reaonable and then use the grandmother in emergencies? That way you don't have the added cost of gas and travel time? OR maybe the father could pick up the child and take to grandmother and then you pick up? I dunno. But I do like day cares. You get social interact, education that I wouldn't have thought of at home, they learn to take turns, etc. And yes they get sick, but only at first. Maybe for the first year on and off. But if not at day care, they'll get sick when they start school. I know lots of cons too as they are much stricter.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:20 AM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • In your situation the grandmother may be the better option. In general though, if money were no option, I typically think kids are better off going to daycare than being watched by their grandparents. From what I have seen from grandparents who watch their grandkids, although they love them desperately, they really don't go out of their way to provide socialization with other children or educational opportunities they way a stay at home mom would. They just really don't see it as part of their job, and tend to go about their day as usual while the kid just hangs out (albeit receiving lots of hugs and kisses!) In a good day care the child will obviously spend time with other children, receive a pre-school education, spend time outside everday for recess, etc. With grandma, there's no guarantee, and when your only paying $60 a week, you can't demand it either.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:44 AM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • I think that with all of the upheaval in your home life, keeping things as consistent as possible is important. She isn't going to understand why she's not going home to Daddy anymore. She isn't going to understand why Mommy is sad. She needs at least 1 thing in life to stay the same. Aside from Mommy, I can't think of anybody better to care for her than Gramma. Not only that, but she will have more access to her Daddy being on the same side of town.
    You might have to search high and low to find a decent place to live, but it can be done. Don't give up!
    JawgaMom1

    Answer by JawgaMom1 at 3:49 PM on Aug. 27, 2009

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