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8 year old getting in severe trouble!

My eight year old stepson has been a complete butt over the last three weeks. It started a week before school started and has gotten worse. He's such a good kid, but is usually whiney so we're used to that. Now though.. He is straight up telling me no. I can say, "Hey, go brush your teeth and put on your shoes, so we can go," and we could be going to chuckie cheese or somewhere fun.. and his reply is, "NO!" and then he just stands there. We've spanked, took things away, I've even thrown toys away.. and still nothing. Found out yesterday that his bus driver said if he acts up one more time, he won't even be allowed to ride the bus. And his teacher has been sending notes home saying he'll be expelled. He's never acted like this at all, and I'm truly scared. His mother can't control him and when he comes here, he acts like he doesn't have to do what we say. What could be going on to make him act like this?

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:39 AM on Aug. 27, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (11)
  • OP here.. Also, I've noticed that it's like this at the beginning of every school year. He just started third grade and usually acts up the first two months of the school year, but then is fine.. But he's never acted this way. He has always been whiney and he throws small fits, but he's just refusing. Just the other day, we were in a gas station and he picked up oreos. I said, "No, we have a few oreos left in the car. You aren't getting those," he won't put them back. I tell him that he can't have those and he throws them on the shelf after two or three minutes of arguing and runs out of the gas station and almost got hit by a car!! His mother won't do anything about him, and I'm scared that something serious is going on with him.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:42 AM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • His dad needs to or someone needs to give him a good old fashioned whipping. We all turned out just fine us people that were raise before the 90's that

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:44 AM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • He's only 8? I think I'd check into some counseling. The school may be able to help you out there. It's very hard when kids go back and forth with different rules at each home, so that may be part of it, but there could be something else going on with him, and it is affecting his whole life, and everyone who has to deal with him.

    Have you guys asked him.....when he's not upset and misbehaving....what's going on in his life? He may or may not be able to tell you. Sometimes kids aren't even sure why they're misbehaving.

    Good luck, I feel for all of you.

    Answer by ohwrite at 10:50 AM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • We have asked him, but not when he's not upset.. So I should try that. I think he needs some sort of counceling, but his mother won't do it. Mainly because she's lazy and doesn't want to take the time to do anything with him. My husband think it's a normal thing for kids to go through, and part of its right. I think from being out of school and having a little more freedom, to going back to school could be a little of it, but it wouldn't cause this kind of problems. And even though he's only eight.. I'm actually starting to fear what he can do. He's so full of anger that it's scary to be around him.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:55 AM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • Maybe his mother is letting him get away with everything when he's at her home and she's not being a diciplinary at all, so when he comes home to you guys he's acting like he does with her thinking he can get away with everything. Don't let him have any privilages until he can act right, and you guys should sit down as a fmaily and talk to him ask questions and let him talk too. To try to come up with something that works.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:00 AM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • My first thought is what has channged in his life recently? Does Mom have a new boyfriend? Did he start a new program at church? Di he begin to play on a sports team? The reason I ask is kids that act out suddenly in the way you describe can be a tell tale sign that some form of abuse may be happening. Is he in any activity that an adult has access to him w/o parents present? It is time for a very long, very serious talk. If you come up dead ended there he needs to see his Dr. Rule out a physical problem like imbalances and such. Let the Dr, evaluate the situation. He may be showing signs of ODD- Oppositional Defiant Disorder. Clearly there is a problem the key is finding the root. Ask the school psychologist to evaluate as well.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 11:15 AM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • Mine tells me no,when I ask her to do things too,she's 71/2 and all of the sudden these last few months she's been a terror!First she says no,and if I try to run after her or threaten her,she drops to the floor, so I can't pick her up.She's really heavy,so she knows I won't pick her up.So,what I do now,is throw a sheet over her and it's a dark red so she can't see me, and tickle her to death, not really..ha ha.I tickle her and ask her will she get dressed or whatever and if she will I stop tickling her,this works but it's exausting,so I do it one time a day if needed.She also won't get off the computer when I ask her too,so I throw a sheet over her from behind and start tickling and she gets off the chair and then I drag her feet first out of that room.Sounds crazy but she's a big girl and this works.I also buy these yada's at target at the check out stands,they are mini warp recorders.When she bosses me or mouths me off..

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:23 PM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • You might consider other kids at school or on the bus are picking on him, making him feel bad, hurt and angry.
    A few times my son has acted out for a couple days and I finally sit him down and make him talk to me, I ask him all sorts of questions about why he might be acting so badly. He broke down crying and finally told me kids were picking on him at school during recess.
    It might not be that with your son but maybe a possibility? There's gotta be something thats changed for him to act out like that if he is otherwise very good and he probably doesn't know the correct way to deal with his emotions.

    Answer by janeenee at 8:27 PM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • I say into it,don't boss me around or don't talk to me like that and then I warp the voice to make it sound like mickey mouse or a old man and what was once a heated argument,turns into a funny,good time for us.She and I both laugh at the funny voice and soon we forget all about what we were fighting about and she does what I ask her to do just like that.It's called a [yada,yada,yada]and I use it mostly before bedtime,which is always a power struggle.It's a small, rectangle, mini recorder, I think every parent should have one,for these situations,it's worked great for me.I have bought 3 of them now,7.99 and I put them in the kitchen,the computer area and her bedroom for heated arguments.Except,you have to use it only one time a day and only for one argument,else to me it's not as powerful.They see it as a game not a disciplinary toy.I have at times abused it and used it more than for heated arguments,kinda using it to tease..

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:33 PM on Aug. 27, 2009

  • I should say my daughter is big and heavy and when she drops to the floor, she kicks and she's strong, so I had to figure out a way, how to get her off the floor and do what I said,so that's why I threw a sheet over her.Her legs get tangled in the sheet and then I'm able to tickle her.She is very agressive and maybe I'm being agressive back but what she's learning from me is that I don't put up with crap and no one else will either.I should take more time outs because it's exausting to do that but maybe I'll do it for an emergency back up plan,once in awhile because everyday she'll just be asking for it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:48 PM on Aug. 27, 2009

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